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Open Poetry #42

I miss your....

Topheth
Member

since 2001-09-08

Posts 297
Texas

0 posted 2008-06-24 09:12 PM

I miss your smile, your laugh, your lips,
your talk, your thoughts, your touch, your hips;
I miss your walk, desires, demands,
your jokes, your hugs, your kiss, your hands;
I miss your time, your hopes, your dreams,
your passions, fantasies, your schemes;
I miss your hair, your limbs - no boast!

It's safe to say I miss you most!

XGarapanX
Senior Member

since 2008-06-19

Posts 1435
Antarctica

1 posted 2008-06-25 08:14 PM

I don't mean this in a bad way, but writing like this would be excellent on a greeting card or some other such medium. You have talent for it.

·´~`·»Garapan«·´~`·

Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis

since 2008-01-25

Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

2 posted 2008-06-25 08:58 PM

Yo Topheth,

I like this loads. You make great use of end rhymes, and it sounds real.

Bobby

Topheth
Member

since 2001-09-08

Posts 297
Texas

3 posted 2008-06-25 09:17 PM

XGarapanX - works for me, actually. I know I'm not much a true poet; I find fun in making little word dances. Appreciate the response.

"You inspire; I desire – and refrain; you sustain."

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

4 posted 2008-06-25 10:21 PM

awwwww....*goodness* this is so sweet

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

5 posted 2008-06-25 10:23 PM

Nice writing...James

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