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Open Poetry #42
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Topheth
Member
since 2001-09-08
Posts 297
Texas

0 posted 2008-06-24 09:12 PM


I miss your smile, your laugh, your lips,
your talk, your thoughts, your touch, your hips;
I miss your walk, desires, demands,
your jokes, your hugs, your kiss, your hands;
I miss your time, your hopes, your dreams,
your passions, fantasies, your schemes;
I miss your hair, your limbs - no boast!

It's safe to say I miss you most!


© Copyright 2008 Topheth - All Rights Reserved
XGarapanX
Senior Member
since 2008-06-19
Posts 1435
Antarctica
1 posted 2008-06-25 08:14 PM


I don't mean this in a bad way, but writing like this would be excellent on a greeting card or some other such medium. You have talent for it.

·´~`·­»Garapan«­·´~`·

Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
2 posted 2008-06-25 08:58 PM


Yo Topheth,

I like this loads.  You make great use of end rhymes, and it sounds real.

Bobby

Topheth
Member
since 2001-09-08
Posts 297
Texas
3 posted 2008-06-25 09:17 PM


XGarapanX - works for me, actually.  I know I'm not much a true poet; I find fun in making little word dances.  Appreciate the response.  

"You inspire; I desire – and refrain; you sustain."

SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
4 posted 2008-06-25 10:21 PM


awwwww....*goodness* this is so sweet
JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
5 posted 2008-06-25 10:23 PM


Nice writing...James
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