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Open Poetry #42
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2islander2
Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825
by the sea

0 posted 2008-06-23 11:23 AM


The Beauty was hospitalized,
she had heart problems,
nobody came to console her
on her hospital bed.

Nobody thinks of her,
the diagnosis is reserved,
the doctors are pessimistic
because she does not support medicines.

The beauty was hospitalized
at the release of a book,
she lost her health
in the contact of the people.

The Beauty was hospitalized,
Now she had personality problems,
Nobody listens what she says.
Poor Beauty, nobody cares
about you anymore.

© Copyright 2008 yann rolland - All Rights Reserved
2islander2
Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825
by the sea
1 posted 2008-06-23 11:26 AM


I know there is some ambiguity about this poem....It has double meaning....The best is to take the meaning you wish....My first draft intended to show disrespect for the Beauty...However I don't want to worship physical beauty which is so light...So take it as you want...

    yann

Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
2 posted 2008-06-23 06:46 PM


I find it poignant, dear Yann. Because when a Beauty is recognized as an object to exhibit, there might be a lack of true affection and respect. A deep melancholy is the result and healing is not easy.

You caught this very well!

Love,
Margherita

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
3 posted 2008-06-23 10:55 PM


I can find a relation in the third stanza, Yann...

and whether or not anyone is beautiful
is always, as you indicate, in the eye of
the beholder.

It's a sad poem, indeed, but fraught with
meaning, and symbolism.

Thank you!

Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271
So. El Monte, California
4 posted 2008-06-23 11:58 PM


This is sad , yann but it also seems as though it is about a very self distructive person or am I misreading it.
                             Ida

Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271
So. El Monte, California
5 posted 2008-06-23 11:59 PM


This is sad , yann, but it also seems as though it is about a very self-distructive person or am I misreading it?
                             Ida

Edgewise
Junior Member
since 2008-03-23
Posts 19
Chicago
6 posted 2008-06-24 01:56 AM


Beauty, imo, does not age gracefully.  Especially if it is put on a pedestal.  
2islander2
Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825
by the sea
7 posted 2008-06-24 04:55 AM


Thank you Margherita for sharing your thoughts, they are helpful....You opened something there.

   yann
    

2islander2
Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825
by the sea
8 posted 2008-06-24 04:57 AM


Thank you Sunshine for your constructive comment, yes indeed beauty belongs to the beholder.

   thanks

    yann

2islander2
Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825
by the sea
9 posted 2008-06-24 05:00 AM


Thank you Ida for your concern and kind comment....In fact all this is absolutly imaginary, I didn't think specially to a known person...

  thanks

    yann

2islander2
Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825
by the sea
10 posted 2008-06-24 05:02 AM


Thank you edgewise for your kind comment.
  thanks

   yann

OwlSA
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa
11 posted 2008-06-24 05:38 AM


Yann, I like your poem very much.  I agree completely with what you are saying.  

However, (and not detracting from your poem or the concept at all, but just some of my thoughts following on from it are that) it also depends on the definition of beauty.  I know you are talking about superficial outer beauty (and I mean "superficial" and "outer" as 2 different things here - outer as in visible and obvious and 99% uncontentious - and superficial as in one's approach to it, and I mean the Beauty's approach AND anyone/everyone else's).  

There are 3 garden paths I would like to wander down.

The first is that beauty, in the true sense of the word is good.  For example, you have a beautiful soul, and yes, that is not an outer beauty, though I am sure it is reflected in the outer expression of your eyes.  A flower is beautiful - and that is outer beauty.  It is visible and obvious, and 99% uncontentious.  

The second path is that even outer superficial beauty is also good in itself.  It can be admired for itself - even if the person has no inner beauty (although that is contentious because I don't think that the worst criminal on earth has no inner beauty at all - or at least the potential for it) - so shall we say, very little inner beauty.  Another little path off this pathway is that there are some very outwardly beautiful people who have great inner beauty, and their outer beauty should not be shunned for itself, though it is of less importance than the inner beauty.  

The third path I would like to lead you down, is that people should have cared about the Beauty in your poem (I am not suggesting that you wouldn't - I am talking about the hypothetical other people caring about the hypothetical Beauty in your poem).  If they didn't, they had no inner beauty themselves.  It is my belief that everyone has a right to at least the basic level of human dignity and respect - even that monster Geoffrey Dahlmer (I am not totally sure of the spelling of either his first or last name) who was a serial killer who cut up his dead victims and put the pieces in his fridge and ate them.  I believe that there are very, very many levels of respect and some people deserve only the basic, like Geoffrey Dahlmer, and others, like Nelson Mandela deserve an extremely high level.  The Beauty you referred to in your poem would probably deserve somewhere around halfway between the two examples I cited above.  Of course, all of these levels of respect would be subjective, but some of them would be ±75% uncontentious.

Sorry for talking so much, but I know you won't mind, Yann.

- Owl

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
12 posted 2008-06-24 09:22 AM


sad

I was thinking along the same lines the other day when I went to the graveyard to visit my mom's grave and I saw so many stones left alone, dirty, weeds on them...

it was sad
becuase I still go even after 28 years now, and I won't stop going till I die


2islander2
Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825
by the sea
13 posted 2008-06-24 11:50 AM


You bet I don't mind Owl, but I think you must be tired now after writing a such comment...
I must give you the birth of the poem..At first I didn't write it in a physical sense, it was to defend the Essence of the Beauty ( beauty of a painting, of a heart, of a soul, etc... )  But I noticed that myn friends didn't take it that way, they thought of physical beauty, of a person...
I must forgive myself for not have been able to share my thoughts, it is a problem when you write a poem quickly....

Take care of yourself

   yann

2islander2
Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825
by the sea
14 posted 2008-06-24 11:53 AM


Thank you Passing Shadow, what you do is very important and is an act of pure beauty....I'm glad you shared this event in a very touching and kind comment....

I wish you the best.

   yann

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