»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #42
»
I´ll do my best
| Open Poetry #42 |
|
I´ll do my best |
|
|
Ray Sharpe Member
since 2008-05-29
Posts 112Tenerife |
Hi ...a big part of my sorrow is my children have just been introduced to their mums new guy ...I have no problem with that I wish her all the best ,,,but my Nine year old son is obviously having a hard time comming to terms with it .....would you guys let me know if you think he would understand this......they live two thousand miles away ...in England...... Charlie When you look in the photo and see me smile Know that for you I would crawl a mile Scrape a mile and a thousand over shards of glass Climb a mountain of bottles broken and smashed To know you are crying turns my heart heavy lead Sends sorrow and pain.. shooting through my head Pins my arms to my side brings my legs to my chest Like a baby I lay crying….I tried my best. I want to be near you live my life week by week Hear your chatter and laughter your smile I would seek. I want to take you to football......swimming …the rest But like a baby I lay crying …I tried my best. Charlie please know I love you you are always in my thoughts These words on the paper…from my heart they are wrought Forever I will see you though the miles are a test Son I do promise ….I´ll do my best. |
||
| © Copyright 2008 Ray Sharpe - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
2islander2 Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825by the sea |
Hello Ray, it's lovely and touching, how could a son ignore so much love, so tender words...He surely won't... wish you the best yann |
||
|
OwlSA Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347Durban, South Africa |
Ray, just my personal opinion and advice - you don't have to like it or agree with it or accept it, but I truly believe it is the way to go. However, you did ask. I think that it is imperative that you let your son - in fact both/all your children - know that it is all right for his/their mum to have a new guy (even if you weren't OK with the fact or with the guy, there is nothing you can/should do about it). That way he/they can learn to accept the new guy WITHOUT GUILT (he/they won't recognise it as guilt, but that is what it would be if you didn't let him/them know that it is all right)and with some modicum of pleasure which hopefully (for his/their sake) will increase as time goes by. Even though your other child/children aren't showing the same symptoms, they will be feeling them, so, in my opinion, you really should say these things to both/all of them. If you go this route, you will cause as few ripples in your relationship with your ex-wife and the new guy, and thus ultimately allow your lines of communication with your children to be as open as possible. Don't let your children know of your pain. Don't tell them of the things you would like to be doing with them. That, in my opinion, is opening their minds to unnecessary negativity and pain, even though it isn't your intention. Rather give them lots of happy everyday news about yourself and people and animals and things they know - or even don't know - but avoid trying to make them homesick, as that is not in their interests. Ask them news about themselves. If they are both/all too young to email you personally, email them via your ex-wife, and hopefully she will type their answers. Better still, if you can afford to phone them, rather speak to them personally. Maintaining a relationship of any kind with your wife is not the best of ideas, so the more you can limit it to things like, "Hello, please may I speak to the children", the better. Hope that helps. - Owl |
||
|
Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Ray, your love ~ and your pain ~ are very apparent. Very moving words from a loving ~ yet broken heart. I have so much compassion for your situation. It must be unbearably difficult to be so far away from your children. However, in all honesty, I totally concur with everything that our Wise One has written in her reply. I truly do. Of course, you are the best judge as to what you feel is right and in the best interest of your children. Giving you a big, warm, understanding hug, Linda  |
||
|
graeshine2006 Member
since 2008-06-03
Posts 368The Prairie Lands, USA |
Ray - I am lucky. Even though my ex has had a girlfriend since three months before the divorce was final, it hurts like hell still, but I get to see my children. I think that someday when your child is older (and probably not that long from now - 15, 16) and you are having a son-father heart-to-heart, then he will understand and appreciate your feelings. But for now, I think he needs a nine-year-old's simple reassurance: I love you, you are wonderful, your mom and I love you, you did nothing wrong, I will miss you but want you to be happy and can call me whenever you want.... these will stick with him until a time comes when you can let more out. Hang in there. I feel for you, I really do. Please feel free to email me if you need to get anything off your chest and can't or don't want to do it in this forum. Thinking of you.... love deb |
||
|
Robert E. Jordan Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541Philadelphia, Pennsylvania |
Yo Ray, Sorry buddy, but this sounds a little bit self serving to me. I'd leave all the kids to deal with the situation, kids are good at that. If you can afford it, send all the kids twenty bucks every now and then, tell them to have fun spending it. That's what my old man did many years ago. Don't send anyone pining letters. That’s just no good at all. Bobby [This message has been edited by Robert E. Jordan (06-17-2008 01:12 PM).] |
||
|
passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
Ray, my kids went through the same thing. Kids take things better than we do sometimes. Just be there to show them love, however you can. I have written many poems to my kids. They cherish them. |
||
|
Ray Sharpe Member
since 2008-05-29
Posts 112Tenerife |
Hi .... you see the reason I asked your opinion is I felt I wanted to say those things...but wasnt ´ sure it was the right thing to say ....and I will keep this to myself ......and yes I have six children ....with two different wives ...it hurts that I have faild some way ...but I thank you all for yourgood advice ...I may not have been here long ...but I recognise good people when I see them ...love to you all thank you Ray |
||
|
OwlSA Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347Durban, South Africa |
Thanks for your response. I am glad we could all be of help to you. I understand the desire to say those things, but I am glad you understand the need not to. Just something I didn't say earlier and with regard to what Debby said about means, having a heart-to-heart talk with your child/children. I am not sure that it is a good idea, but if you do, don't then, nor now, nor ever, say a word against their mother. Perhaps they will see for themselves, perhaps not, but don't take away from them their love or their respect (misplaced or otherwise - in fact, especially if it is misplaced) for their mother. Children should be allowed to love and respect both parents and not feel torn in their loyalties towards either parent. However, the sad reality is that most children of divorced parents are fiercely loyal to one parent as opposed to the other. Sometimes this changes from one parent to the other, but it is far better if both parents can work hard at it being both all the time. - Owl |
||
|
Ray Sharpe Member
since 2008-05-29
Posts 112Tenerife |
Hi I just want to point out that there is no animosity whatsoever between Charlies mum and I ....we are still good friends ....after four years she has found a new guy ....and charlie crying etc seems ...to me...to be a way of asking if its ok to like the new guy and still love me ...he has never told me he cries over my photo before .....I fly to the UK on Friday to see them all ....and reassure them that I love them and that my ex wife has my blessings over the new man in her life .....Again thanks all of you for your advice ...hope this clears up a few doubts. |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
