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Open Poetry #42
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Releasing Tears
| Open Poetry #42 |
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Releasing Tears |
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GreenDragon Junior Member
since 2008-06-05
Posts 10USA |
I’ll let these releasing tears extinguish This weakly flickering flame I’ve been protecting From the winds of doubt and truth Which howled “He’s not yours to love.” Is there comfort in this darkness Now that running out of fuel Is no longer a concern? A wet wick, a dwindling reserve and no match. Even without the company of its glow I might carry this cold lantern By force of habit Just like I’ll propel this shell another day Swinging pendulum limbs keep going As the earth rotates beneath . . . Oh, How that weightless fire made my heavy lantern light! |
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RedNail Member
since 2008-02-29
Posts 65Stockholm, Sweden |
Well. I must say that this is deep, and inspiring. As I'm going through this my self at the moment, I can relate to these feelings. I like the theme of your poem, although the last line didn't quite seem to fit in. In my opinion, that is. A good write, nothing less. I hope to see more from you GreenDragon. |
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GreenDragon Junior Member
since 2008-06-05
Posts 10USA |
Thank you for your response RedNail and I am sorry that you are also feeling some of this. My formatting got a little bungled and maybe if I had gotten the last line posted properly it would not seem so awkward. the whole poem should be one block...right down to "As the earth rotates beneath" and then a double spaced line away... like one last little burst of regret after the poem ended.. "Oh, How that weightless fire made my heavy lantern light!" I'm new to Pip, so I don't know the ropes if I can edit the original, but I'll try. Thanks again and >hugs< |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
Ms Dragon. Welcome to pip. Your work is just the right depth to be a river. I hope you pen often. As we discussed, I saw slices when I read it and each one was stand alone in it's value... I’ll let these releasing tears extinguish This weakly flickering flame I’ve been protecting From the winds of doubt and truth Which howled “He’s not yours to love.” Is there comfort in this darkness Now that running out of fuel Is no longer a concern? A wet wick, a dwindling reserve and no match. Even without the company of its glow I might carry this cold lantern By force of habit Just like I’ll propel this shell another day Swinging pendulum limbs keep going As the earth rotates beneath Oh, How that weightless fire Made my heavy lantern light! [This message has been edited by Dark Stranger (06-06-2008 06:26 PM).] |
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graeshine2006 Member
since 2008-06-03
Posts 368The Prairie Lands, USA |
I thought the imagery was absolutely beautiful! |
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GreenDragon Junior Member
since 2008-06-05
Posts 10USA |
Thank you for the welcome DarkStranger, and the kind words graeshine. Speaking of imagery and rivers, a friend mentioned to me that the "propel this shell" reminded him of a racing skull on a river- where the oarsman faces looking back. I had not considered this, but wow I like that image. |
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