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Open Poetry #42
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rival
| Open Poetry #42 |
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rival |
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jmjovies Junior Member
since 2008-05-03
Posts 32florida |
she has become less of a rival and more of a liar. everyday she cuts out her body and folds herself into clothes; she's a child playing paper dolls and thinks of herself as disposable. somewhere inside she believes her beauty is false and she loves men as though she’s seeking revenge, disentangling herself, perhaps disenchanting, she sweats and shifts perception like hips. she’ll tell you any truth she’s in the mood to believe. you won’t buy it, but you won’t mind too much because she told you once that real beauty is slipped in between the inconsistencies. |
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| © Copyright 2008 Jillian - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
Interesting write, well done! Love, Margherita  |
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Marilyn Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621Ontario, Canada |
Wow! I loved this. Thank you for the great read. Marilyn |
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Honeybunch Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115South Africa |
"that real beauty is slipped in between the inconsistencies." Gives real meaning to "seek and thou shalt find". That aside I love those lines! Helen |
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jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas |
I think this was just wonderfully done, my friend. Liked the 'play' within. Gee, I even think I had a girl like that one time... my TR-3....finicky as heck at times but loved her to death.... Much enjoyed... jimmy |
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Artic Wind Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080Realm of Supernatural |
WELCOME TO PIP! ARCTIC WIND |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
This is so intriguing. Congratulations on capturing a snippet of a character that begs questions from your readers. (I'd love a series!) touche' Ms. J!  |
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shyvl Senior Member
since 2008-04-11
Posts 531texas, usa |
Sounds like one troubled woman- also like there might be a little of her in each of us. welcome toPip] sharyn |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
ms J...damn I think I know her..enjoyed too.. |
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jmjovies Junior Member
since 2008-05-03
Posts 32florida |
thanks all |
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Robert E. Jordan Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541Philadelphia, Pennsylvania |
Jmjovies, If you broke this up into strophes, and employed Standard English Language capitalization, this would be easier to read. Bobby |
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Marchmadness Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271So. El Monte, California |
This is very good but I think Bobby is right. Ida |
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