The Truth of Great Elements

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Robert Frazier
Senior Member

since 2003-02-06

Posts 1014

0 posted 2008-04-22 05:33 PM

Open window breathes in the last of day,
And appeals to a wiser orb;
What dreams await the dreamer?
Perhaps to ebb a little closer
Enough to whisper clear:

“The sun is open and sits upon
Some fairer clouds that drift
Away while distant worlds beckon;
‘Something extremely fine after sunset!’
And you would do well with eyes shut
To put into words all you see
For the voice you next hear will be
The Truth of great Elements
And nothing comes until the harvest
So close your mind and open your heart”

Content with the answer,
Starry hosts illuminate my senses
Like a diamond crown
That settles down
Over eyes open

[This message has been edited by Robert Frazier (04-23-2008 02:03 PM).]

steavenr
Member Elite

since 2003-11-17

Posts 4058

1 posted 2008-04-22 06:38 PM

"Starry hosts illuminate my senses
Like a diamond crown"

Nice line...very nice poem

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

2 posted 2008-04-22 07:05 PM

Enjoyed...James

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

3 posted 2008-04-23 01:08 PM

quote:
‘Something extremely fine after sunset!’...

And you would do well with eyes shut
...
For the voice you next hear will be
The Truth of great Elements...

There is a quiet depth to this, Robert.
Were I to critique this, my only suggestion
would be at the end,

and to leave the eyes open.

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean

since 2002-08-27

Posts 40215
Realms of Light

4 posted 2008-04-23 01:34 PM

"Open window breathes in the last of day,
And appeals to a wiser orb;
What dreams await the dreamer?"

~ A lovely opening to a stellar piece of writing!

Linda

Robert Frazier
Senior Member

since 2003-02-06

Posts 1014

5 posted 2008-04-23 02:02 PM

Karilea, I more than like your suggested ending...a perfect twist to deepen the vision!

HUGS!
Robert

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis

since 2007-09-16

Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural

6 posted 2008-04-23 04:37 PM

Lovely Write!

ARCTIC WIND

shyvl
Senior Member

since 2008-04-11

Posts 531
texas, usa

7 posted 2008-04-23 09:31 PM

beautifully evocative. Your imagery of those last moments of the day was inspiring.
sharyn

Larrysmom
Senior Member

since 2008-04-03

Posts 533
Florida, USA

8 posted 2008-04-23 10:01 PM

So beautiful and calming this one…

Tammy<333

Roniece Dawson-Bruce
Member Ascendant

since 2000-01-29

Posts 5689
Sydney, Australia

9 posted 2008-04-24 08:08 AM

So close your mind and open your heart”

Robert, this is very very beautiful! love RDB

Be kind at heart....for everyone you meet has their own battle to fight.........

Seoulair
Senior Member

since 2008-03-27

Posts 807
Seoul S.Korea

10 posted 2008-04-25 12:38 PM

beautiful.

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