Heads, You Lose ( Assassin of Verses' challange)

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Dr.Moose1
Member Elite

since 1999-09-05

Posts 3448
Bewilderment , USA

0 posted 2008-03-28 03:34 PM

Their presense almost palpable
within these courtyard walls,
as ominous foreboding clouds
lend creedence to their calls.

A sound of short duration made
more urgent by these haunts,
in gruesome desolation each
unfinished echo taunts.

Where shadow of the guillotine
once fell on blood drenched stone,
to grieve in isolation of
detachment quite alone.

Where pleas did fall on biased ears
while thunk of steel was heard,
in witness to a harvest grim
and grins of severed words.

Seoulair
Senior Member

since 2008-03-27

Posts 807
Seoul S.Korea

1 posted 2008-03-28 06:32 PM

wonderful poem!!

Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis

since 2008-01-25

Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

2 posted 2008-03-28 06:34 PM

Dr.Moose1,

This is a nicely written grisly poem. It works well.

Bobby

Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis

since 2007-09-16

Posts 9271
So. El Monte, California

3 posted 2008-03-29 04:33 AM

Great play on words. I like this.
Ida

hunnie_girl

Member Elite

since 2006-06-18

Posts 2567
Canada

4 posted 2008-03-29 05:10 AM

great poem Doc. Andrew should def. take a peek at this

Krysti

Marge Tindal

Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-06

Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores

5 posted 2008-03-29 07:47 PM

Doc~
Ya' done good !!

*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*The sound of a kiss is not as strong as that of a cannon, but it's echo endures much longer*~
Email - [email protected]

Dr.Moose1
Member Elite

since 1999-09-05

Posts 3448
Bewilderment , USA

6 posted 2008-04-01 07:15 PM

Seoulair,
Thank you.
Doc

Bobby,
Thank you. Grisly/gruesome, not my normal fare.
Doc

Ida,
Thanks, I must admit the title may have been a little misleading.
Doc

Krysti,
Thank you for saying so, must be he missed it, or is like me and doesn't reply often.
Doc

Dear Marge,
How nice of you to say, you're a marvel.
Doc

Assassin_of_Verse
Member

since 2007-10-23

Posts 330
that So Cal

7 posted 2008-04-02 01:36 AM

I am absolutely astounded. I had to look up a few words, but I was blown away by the (input positive and descriptive word) of your poem.

Thank you so much for sharing this piece as well as teaching me a new word: palpable. I would also like to apologize for not commenting earlier.

Dawn gives birth to a new day.
Dusk lays it to rest.

Dr.Moose1
Member Elite

since 1999-09-05

Posts 3448
Bewilderment , USA

8 posted 2008-04-02 07:09 AM

AoV,
Thanks, no apology necessary, heck, most of the time I lose track of my own posts and forget to comment. glad you liked.
Doc

gilead
Senior Member

since 2008-03-10

Posts 1067
nevada, USA

9 posted 2008-04-02 10:46 AM

Chilling, and superbly written!

Art

Dr.Moose1
Member Elite

since 1999-09-05

Posts 3448
Bewilderment , USA

10 posted 2008-04-03 06:35 PM

Art,
Thank you kind sir.
Doc

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