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Open Poetry #41
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Time for some Love!
| Open Poetry #41 |
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Time for some Love! |
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Roysie Member
since 2007-08-05
Posts 102Canada |
Oh love Taunting me still after all these years Dreams washed up on bygone beach Memories dim but for the fire in those eyes Haunting me though I choose not to go there Oh love Forgive my callous youth misspent My days of wine and roses Pursuing always the unattainable Neglecting your gift so full of promise Oh love Where is she now in your realm Obedient to some stranger of fortune Mother earth to the heart of another Or drifting alone on fates cruel sea Oh love Banish me now from your kingdom alone Wreck my ship on some blissful shore Never knowing your elegant graces and dreaming of lost love no more |
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| © Copyright 2007 Roysie - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Professor Gloom Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082of Depression |
For someone the critiques about lack of rhyme, I find this 'smug'. I know poetry and believe it or not, this fits the very broad definition ( both rhyme and meter do not make a poem, as this shows ). Now do I like this? Perhaps, but I'll reserve judgement till you form a larger volumn here to read. Gloom |
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Roysie Member
since 2007-08-05
Posts 102Canada |
Morning Gloom, Hey I think there's a poem there isn't there? Firstly Jack and Jill rhyme makes my skin crawl. That particular critique/poem really needed some rhyme to break and enliven the dialogue which I felt was running into it's self. Secondly I know you like this piece because it's wonderful. It's the only "love" poem I have ever written and after reading ENDLESS SAPPY CRAPPOLA AD NAUSEUM I thought I should try my hand. Hopefully I managed to avoid the aforementioned. Last but not least it is most certainly not smug. I can still see her face after thirty years. |
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Larry C
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States |
Roy, I indeed liked this. But then I'm a died in the wool romantic. Roysie maybe in you can go to the members area and click on changing your profile and set yourself to be critiqued. You can even offer a description of what your willing to accept. This is mine: "Tenderness is not resented...besides I don't believe everything I read." Prof, Do you always grade this hard?  Roysie has been addressing the critique issue even with an apology.If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again. |
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Roysie Member
since 2007-08-05
Posts 102Canada |
Thanks Larry already did that first thing this morning. Regards Roy PS Don't worry the Prof likes it also. |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Enjoyed reading this...I have found that for a heart to move away from someone special, someone just as special is required to move towards...love is a verb...James |
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Professor Gloom Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082of Depression |
Seems you wish to hold the Arrogance to yourself, please disassociate me from the conceit. Firstly, I said this was a poem “I know poetry and believe it or not, this fits the very broad definition”. Secondly, how could you possibly know what I like? Have you read the volume of my work including the critique I have given throughout the decades of my writing? The idea of what makes a poem or not has been a heated debate for me at times, especially back in the 90’s on another website. How do you think I weighed in to that? The romantic poets at Passions (perhaps the name of the site could be taken as a clue, or perhaps you wish to remain clueless) tend to enjoy the Sappy poems. Many here tend to over enjoy Sappy Love poems, as Sir Paul said in his song, “What’s wrong with that?” Lastly, the smug was not for the content of the poem, but the poem itself. Seems you attempted to make some amends for you harsh critique, but left others out which you offended. Larry C, yes always unless restricted. Post script, I decided I do not like this. Gloom |
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Edward Grim Senior Member
since 2005-12-18
Posts 1154Greenville, South Carolina |
Umm, quote: quote: Telling someone that they should like your poem because it is "wonderful" sounds pretty smug to me. Just my opinion I suppose. And the poem... I didn't really see anything different in there. I admit, I don't particularly care for love poems but this seemed the same as many other poems on the topic. I didn't see where it offered anything new. Again, just my opinion. "Well I wish that you would cheat with someone, 'cause you're like diggin' holes in water and we know that can't be done." |
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Roysie Member
since 2007-08-05
Posts 102Canada |
Gentlemen, I stated the poem was not smug. My reply to you most certainly was. Even Mr. Yeats doesn't appeal to everyone. When I say it's good or it's wonderful I mean it has literary merit in my humble opinion. You are correct "Professor" I don't know you and I don't give a rats ass whether you like it or not to be honest. I've read enough to know what's good and whats not. Speaking of which I'm really looking forward to reading some of your work. I don't have time this morning but soon I know I'll have the dubious pleasure. You can count on one thing from me always and that's honesty. Have a great day, Roy |
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Edward Grim Senior Member
since 2005-12-18
Posts 1154Greenville, South Carolina |
Hi Roy! How's it going? I see you don't like critique. You should probably think about changing the "Bring it on by all means." statement; people might get confused that you actually want to hear what they have to say. But I'm glad you don't give a rat's ass; I don't have any to spare either.  Have a good one man. "Well I wish that you would cheat with someone, 'cause you're like diggin' holes in water and we know that can't be done." |
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Roysie Member
since 2007-08-05
Posts 102Canada |
Some poets today are truly elite they offer their tomes for review quite often neglecting the reader alas while searching for anything new No wisdom too forthright for these noble scribes no comedy writ to amuse no simple expressions of love realized or generous feelings imbued Oh no they say gladly we're better than that we scoff at your sad mercantile and only desire one purpose in life to sadden sweet William awhile |
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Edward Grim Senior Member
since 2005-12-18
Posts 1154Greenville, South Carolina |
lol  "Well I wish that you would cheat with someone, 'cause you're like diggin' holes in water and we know that can't be done." |
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Roysie Member
since 2007-08-05
Posts 102Canada |
Careful Eddie or I'll be forced to review some of your "work." |
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Edward Grim Senior Member
since 2005-12-18
Posts 1154Greenville, South Carolina |
I find it hilarious that you actually consider that a threat. I'm glad you took my advice and removed the "Bring it on by all means." from your critique thing. Good move. And you can review my work any time, but I might not give your opinion too much thought because anybody that says something like: "No wisdom too forthright for these noble scribes" Probably wouldn't even understand the first stanza of a poem written by yours truly. I'm not saying I'm some great poet (I don't believe I am) it's just we have very different styles and you more than likely "won't get it" for lack of a better term. Ain't nothin' wrong with that Rosie. I may not be crazy about your poetry, but I'm starting to like you though. I hope you stick around, seriously, you're fun. Cheers. "Well I wish that you would cheat with someone, 'cause you're like diggin' holes in water and we know that can't be done." |
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