Open Poetry #41 |
joji donut dawn shift |
Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
some mornings on indigo that drug of night sky behavior she would run through the minds of the mountains in all wheel drive a gypsy wind with no heels perhaps the crazy side of nowhere tattered hair and well groomed eyes the wild stare kind of classy she would stop at the mirrors there on the brick wall boredom waiting for the long moments dressed as shadows to arrive and then the change would come like broken hearted dollars with flat sides that fall through the day dreamer's vending machinery she would spend another day dying ____________ daark |
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bel1e Senior Member
since 2006-07-24
Posts 1631 |
beautifully spilled~ the twist at the end, trademark to your talent~ ~love this~
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
thanks babe,,,,donut shop prison..just had to go there, just once |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
yes the end a trademark twist.. well done sir.. well done indeed |
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Kahlil Senior Member
since 2003-04-12
Posts 1881 |
Such imagery you create when you paint with words! |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
You breathe life into poetry...You are poetry. *skotc* |
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BBGrrl Member
since 2007-07-17
Posts 181BC, Canada |
Wild stare kind of classy.. I like that very much, daark |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
only you could write of those dollars |
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secondhanddreampoet Member Ascendant
since 2006-11-07
Posts 6394a 'Universalist' ! |
a most fine ‘write’! I particularly LOVE: “she would run through the minds of the mountains in all wheel drive a gypsy wind… the crazy side of nowhere” “…boredom waiting for the long moments dressed as shadows to arrive” sustained applause! |
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Allysa
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952In an upside-down garden |
I like this one a lot. Can't put my finger on why, it just struck a chord. |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
thanks to each of you pipcrewfamily you bless me with the reads |
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Dominique-Simone Senior Member
since 2005-11-12
Posts 643 |
she would stop at the mirrors there on the brick wall boredom waiting for the long moments dressed as shadows to arrive Just when I think it couldn't get any better... it does |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
good read |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
ms dom'si, thanks babe!! ___________ ms vandana, thank you |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
You are so good, and yet, so hard to describe... reading you is like reading animal tracks, or trail-hunting--I love the lack of gussy, and yet you weave intricate lace with, yes, I will say it again, primal imagery. grin Yep--you are primal. |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
I be primal yay!! thanks serene one for noticing what is behind all that proper man stuff (grin) |
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