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Open Poetry #41
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The death between us
| Open Poetry #41 |
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The death between us |
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GG Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532Lost in thought 
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Staring at death again; at the way it clutches my loves. Again it is cold, active and alive. I eat grief. Swallow whole the sorrow. Choke on emptiness. And nothing matters now. Again it all swirls into black and grey, and lonely, lonely nights. Where is your face? And will I say goodbye before your blood slows? Will I feel you, cooling beneath my fingertips, or is this all there is? Memories, miles, and death between our eyes... Hupomeno. |
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Mike Montana New Member
since 2007-10-17
Posts 8Maryland |
Nice piece, in so short words of expressing the meaning... unique. |
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Marchmadness Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271So. El Monte, California |
I have known this sorrow, GG. Sending you a special hug. Ida |
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Gumpy Member
since 2007-11-06
Posts 143Canada |
A very nice piece. I enjoyed reading. Gumpy How is it that after your heart is ripped out, you feel so much? |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
Alyssa~~ I get excited when I see you have posted...you are a true poet and intellect. I love this for it's dark, horrific truth. You wrote what my child have felt this year. A hard, horrible lesson to learn so young. big  "too bad ignorance isn't painful" |
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Rosemary J. Gwaltney Senior Member
since 1999-08-26
Posts 997northern mountains, Idaho |
"Memories, miles, and death between our eyes..." I am here, reading this poem again, and still wondering what to say. I read it two ways, and have been in both places. You have attacked a deep subject (or two) with much skill, calling forth great emotion in me. This is a good thing, like the color black - how it enriches a painting with contrast. Life. |
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Devious Intellectual Member
since 2006-05-08
Posts 112 |
I like how it was short and powerful. I havent had to deal with this much but after reading that i almost caught the feeling |
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Artic Wind Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080Realm of Supernatural |
GG- Much enjoyed ARCTIC WIND |
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Lincoln Member
since 2007-12-03
Posts 62Earth |
It was truly enjoyed, read it more than once, and i have to say it was moving. "When your deepest thoughts are broken, keep on dreaming boy, cause when you stop dreaming it's time to die." -Shannon Hoon |
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Huan Yi Member Ascendant
since 2004-10-12
Posts 6688Waukegan |
. The pink of your breath tells us you are dying. We have seen death enough to know this. On to the front again this morning, one of our convoy has struck you, along the road ending it all, but for these moments with wide brown eyes. The pain is gone except the terror. Trying afraid to live forever, at least a little, what time remains. Experience for going on. There are defenses, and tactics, a war to be won. But I leave the driver watching and talking to my uniforms, unnoticed, they worn so often no one will know I'm not inside. And walk away to be beside you. Not running, returning slow, knowing I can not save you. But for a while, I stroke your hair the way of an absent lover. Through words strange, in calm tones begin a fire for it is cold. Together, dying, and living for awhile, await another soldier. A foe, yet still, knowing the darkness is but his sadness, sharing my courage we let him come to sit in quiet, respect my hand soothing your fear in the growing night, until it is time to sleep. ........ John |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
GG darlin', this is heart wrenching and I certainly hear your cry out in the dark....my thoughts and prayers are with you.  ....jo[This message has been edited by iliana (12-09-2007 08:15 PM).] |
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Angel4aKing Senior Member
since 2006-09-27
Posts 1372USA |
death is when you say "finally I get to let go at last and pray for the ones that don't know how".....sometimes it is when we are alive that we are most in the dark.... ~~~kingsangel~~~ |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
GG, came back to read it again and pass along another hug. Also, I'm impressed with Huan Yi's compassionate and moving post. |
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Roniece Dawson-Bruce Member Ascendant
since 2000-01-29
Posts 5689Sydney, Australia |
GG: achingly beautiful...RDB Be kind at heart....for everyone you meet has their own battle to fight......... |
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GG Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532Lost in thought |
Mike, thank you. I'll take 'unique' any day!  Ida, I am so sorry that you have. But glad, nonethless, that it allows us to share something. Thank you for the reply. Hugs to you. Gumpy, thnk you much for your kind reply ~Alyssa Hupomeno. |
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GG Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532Lost in thought |
Susan, wow! Thank you. What a huge compliment. This is something that no one should have to feel. Sadly, many do. Thanks again Rosemary, This endeavor, for me, was hardly a work of poetry, instead it was just a way to release the truth and the sadness of the situation. For me, it is about the death of my grandfather and not being able to be with him. But it can mean anything to anyone, and I am always surprised and glad when someone else finds meaning in it as well. thank you for your reply.~alyssa Hupomeno. |
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GG Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532Lost in thought |
Devious, I hope that life brings you little of this. Thanks you so much for your reply and kind words. Arctic Wind, I'm glad thank you.~alyssa Hupomeno. |
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GG Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532Lost in thought |
Lincoln, I am honored that my few words would move anyone. Thank you much Huan Yi, Wow... I always love your work. And this piece is awesome. It should be posted, it deserves much more than it will recieve under my little poem. I'm not sure what all to say but thank you... really. ~alyssa Hupomeno. |
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GG Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532Lost in thought |
jo, Thank you. But I should say here that this was actually written last year. I tried to get out to Cali to visit my grandfather but couldn't because of migraines and work.I knew he was dying and wrote this poem, still hoping I'd be able to see him before he passed. He died the next week, a few hunded miles away. I really haven't been able to write much since then. Anyway, thank you for you words of compassion. You are so appreciated ...Angel, death is a lot of things, but yes, it is definitely the living who suffer from it. Thank you for your reply good to meet you.~alyssa Hupomeno. |
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GG Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532Lost in thought |
jo, I know, wasn't John's reply amazing? Thank you for the hug ...backatcha.Roniece, Thank you very much means a lot.~alyssa Hupomeno. |
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