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Open Poetry #40
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RGK
New Member
since 2007-07-13
Posts 2


0 posted 2007-07-13 03:52 AM


hi people this is pretty random for me im not poet but  when somethings bothering me i just get pen and paper and words just flow.. i really dont care if anyone says its hopeless i just want some opinions from u guys, what yous think. this ones untitled but i wrote it a few nights ago when my girlfriend of 4 years and i pretty much, but not officially, broke up.. umm and yeah any replies would be very appreciated, this is about all i have keeping my sane at the moment ahha.

It’s been a while since I cried
But today a special part of me died
The one who I adore and love
Might not be there for me to hug

Soaked with all this hurt and pain
Drowned by tears falling like rain
Will my love stay with me,
Or is this how it was meant to be?


What went wrong has got me confused
Sitting here, what should I do?
Get the phone and message you?
I thought our love was something true

After all the things that you said
I can’t help but feel I was mislead
I’ve given up my heart and soul
Now all that’s left is an empty hole

“I love you but I don’t know”
The first signs began to show
Your love for me no longer glows
Instead further away it grows

“I need some time” were the words
Suddenly the truth occurred
My vision then began to blur
What I’d realized had me disturbed

In my mind I put together
The one I love, she can do better
Find someone who is free of sin
There goes me, she’s fallen for him

One thing that I don’t understand
Could you really call someone else your man?
Kiss his lips, hold his hand?
I would be no longer part of your plans

Ill admit that I knew all along
But refused to believe there was something wrong
As I write these words I listen to our song
Looking at pictures from times now gone

The sad thing is that we can’t choose
Who we love and who we lose
But the one thing I can guarantee
No one will love you more than me....
THE END

Once again any comments what so ever would really mean a lot to me... thank you




© Copyright 2007 RGK - All Rights Reserved
JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
1 posted 2007-07-13 05:44 AM


Having some experience in this subject...but not an expert...here are my thoughts...
All relationships have a beginning, an embrace, and an end.  So long as two are willing the relationship can continue...when one decides to bail out it is a rough time...but also a time for reflection and a learning experience...no one likes to lose someone they care for...but it happens...indeed it happens...James

ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353
Michigan, USA
2 posted 2007-07-13 08:51 AM


Welcome to Passions.

You dismiss your talents and gifts far too fast poet.

..."The sad thing is that we can’t choose
Who we love and who we lose
But the one thing I can guarantee
No one will love you more than me...."

The simplicity, clarity and strength of your words conveyed deep emotions in your write.
Great job with that.

Meter, cadence and flow were all very good.

The fact that you write during those powerful surges of emotion indicate to me a natural art.

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
3 posted 2007-07-13 10:35 AM


you're pretty good at this poetry thing

welcome to our forums

I hope you keep writing it out...it always helps

good stuff here...I loved reading


Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
4 posted 2007-07-13 01:44 PM


Have to agree with the above,
I see a lot of po[e]tentially pleasing poetry
stemming from your pen...

Please, check your Email for a very Special Greeting!

" It matters not this distance now  " Excerpt, Yesterday's Love
~*~
KRJ

Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
Pennsylvania
5 posted 2007-07-13 01:59 PM



You possess the most important ingredient for writing poetry.
Your words come from the heart and will touch many people who read it
Any poem that touches a chord in someone's heart is good poetry
You touched me

Liz

HopeS
Member Elite
since 2000-12-22
Posts 4596
Perth Western Australia
6 posted 2007-07-13 02:50 PM


This was so touching and heartfelt , I agree with the others and keep writing its good therapy

Hope

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
7 posted 2007-07-13 03:23 PM


Hi, RGK! Welcome aboard the pip ship! Only a true poet will feel the compulsion to express himself when he is welling up with emotion. ~ and might I add, that your first poem illustrates to, not only me, but to the other readers as well, that you have a talent for writing poetry!

They say that every cloud has a silver lining. Perhaps the silver lining to your current love situation, is the discovery that you truly have the soul of a poet.

Giving you a warm, welcoming hug,

Earth Angel


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