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Open Poetry #40
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I am
| Open Poetry #40 |
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I am |
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Dominique-Simone Senior Member
since 2005-11-12
Posts 643
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I am dark, not here, not there; absent in your eyes clouded by perception, time, and doubt. Make haste; tell all who will listen, you are the martyr in the life, you have begun. I am plaintive, sickening the pit where you eat; hurling my name, washing it down copper drains. Actions played in your hands taste bitter; leaving acid to build inside I am pessimistic, my face erased with marker, smudged in desperate fingers; left inside worn clothes, given away without concern. No second thought will be permitted. I am gone |
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| © Copyright 2007 Page McKay - All Rights Reserved | |||
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The Lady Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634The Southwest |
there is a hollowness here Page that begs to be filled well done |
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Dominique-Simone Senior Member
since 2005-11-12
Posts 643 |
Thank you Lady. You words are always encouraging |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
wow I can relate to this well very deep and powerful write here |
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Dominique-Simone Senior Member
since 2005-11-12
Posts 643 |
Passing, I am not sure it is a good thing that you can relate since this is very sad; however i am glad you liked this poem and felt something when you read it. |
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exhale Senior Member
since 2003-06-13
Posts 646Alberta,Canada |
I agree that it is deep, but the way you've woven these words together spells hope to me, despite the topic. Very well written, you definitely have a gift  |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
"I am gone" ~ You may feel as though you are gone, but your talent for writing certainly has not diminished!!! Giving you a compassionate ~ and appreciative! ~ hug, EA  |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
some cold stuff ms, nice way of building it |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
I enjoyed the haunting and dark quality that you wove through this Dominique-Simone ... wonderful flow and imagery as well. Much enjoyed this. Best wishes, /Kit |
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Dominique-Simone Senior Member
since 2005-11-12
Posts 643 |
Exhale Thank you I am glad you found hope within this ___________________ Earth I am happy that you enjoyed this. ______________________________ Kit Nothing makes me smile more to know that I wrote a poem well enough that you get the picture that goes along with it Thank you __________________________________ Dark yes it is a little sad Thank you __________________________________ |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
This and something else I read reminded me of the time my ex-wife divorced me...and she told me that she had killed me off, and I no longer existed... Words that cut into my heart...my fault for taking her to that place...still none the less painful to lose your family...James |
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Dominique-Simone Senior Member
since 2005-11-12
Posts 643 |
The most painful part of loss, is the rejection. |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
Reading this made me sigh, "I was..." and then a second sigh released itself from somewhere deep inside, "Was I?" |
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Dominique-Simone Senior Member
since 2005-11-12
Posts 643 |
Thank you mid.... I am happy to make you sigh... anytime. |
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Artic Wind Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080Realm of Supernatural |
Iam kind i am sweet i am nice lol, my little poem for you lol ARCTIC WIND |
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