Long, Lost, Goodbye - pipTalk Forums

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Tomer
Senior Member

since 2002-06-28

Posts 1168
Michigan

0 posted 2007-07-10 08:30 PM

The cathedral downstairs,
Away from the
Yellow, cut off wallpaper.

A lazy chair,
Back pedaled
At the back of the room,

He waits,
His cigar rests
At the tip of his mouth,
Breathing circles of smoke
In front of his blue peaked eyes.

He waits,
Glances down to his wrist,
His wooden strapped watch
String numbers together
As the arrow sits on midnight.

He spins the television on,
Rumbles the room with his cough,
As he places his cigar down
In his silver ashtray.

He stares at her photo,
Then at his wedding band,
He waits.

[This message has been edited by Tomer (07-10-2007 10:01 PM).]

A Romantic Heart
Member Ascendant

since 1999-09-03

Posts 5496
Forever In Your Heart

1 posted 2007-07-11 08:17 AM

This is so sad...I hate Goodbyes!

J. M. Barrie, the playwright, may have said it best when he wrote, “God gave us memories so that we might have roses in December.”

LeeJ
Member Patricius

since 2003-06-19

Posts 13296

2 posted 2007-07-11 09:40 AM

He waits,
His cigar rests
At the tip of his mouth,
Breathing circles of smoke
In front of his blue peaked eyes.

wonderfully done, however, this was my favorite description, although all were paramount....excellent read

aziza
Member Elite

since 2006-07-09

Posts 2995
Lumpy Oatmeal makes me Crazy!

3 posted 2007-07-11 07:22 PM

This is really well written. I enjoyed it and see the picture you painted with your words. And I feel the sadness as he waits - thank you.

Alison

Tomer
Senior Member

since 2002-06-28

Posts 1168
Michigan

4 posted 2007-07-11 08:02 PM

Thank you all for the responses, happy you enjoyed.

Drauntz
Member Elite

since 2007-03-16

Posts 2905
Los Angeles California

5 posted 2007-07-12 04:38 PM

a beauty. deep flowing romance but sad kind.

enjoyed

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

6 posted 2007-07-12 07:03 PM

I waited once, much longer than I should have.

M

The Lady
Member Rara Avis

since 2005-12-26

Posts 7634
The Southwest

7 posted 2007-07-12 11:42 PM

indeed Tomer
you tell a sad story
in sealed words

well done

Drauntz
Member Elite

since 2007-03-16

Posts 2905
Los Angeles California

8 posted 2007-07-14 12:03 PM

read again. Made myself sadder.

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis

since 2007-09-16

Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural

9 posted 2007-11-05 03:58 PM

Good Bye lol

ARCTIC WIND

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