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Open Poetry #40
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ol friend
| Open Poetry #40 |
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ol friend |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296
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disobediant time why leave the lucky who dream fish frail little stream of sorrow chandeliers are saints of lost things influencing lovely lyrics sharpness of attention like a hawk you change your life and mine you've found someone else transparent immediacy it's ok I saw her watching from the distance the quietude recalls poetry zen like imagrey parallel lives damp seepage from gutters downpours lay me out speechless here, there across the world naked wood trusted amber lyrics between stranger's minds was it playground to colors in our veins now, buried with us? oh the fall the fall labors of atonment your eyes find someone else quit quickly I missed you heart at your moody feet ideas and dreams mimic the embrace go now don't look back once she writes what I could never touch better to balance wooden raft alone your eyes watch her short hem body full of blood for one more day for one more day her tease captivates your finger tips you trace her words gliding along with her night is sugary I feel your absence fair well ol friend we were good were we not? thank you for your thoughts can you hear the snow geese fly north? they speak your name I pause pause then walk on unfortunately the last mind's thoughts are her words seducing you and you respond so quickly so quickly |
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| © Copyright 2007 Lee J. - All Rights Reserved | |||
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secondhanddreampoet Member Ascendant
since 2006-11-07
Posts 6394a 'Universalist' ! |
particularly ‘interesting’ images: “chandeliers are saints of lost things”; “lyrics between stranger's minds”; “her tease captivates your finger tips you trace her words” I enjoyed this 'read'! |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
LeeJ You watch the birds of regret fly. Enjoyed the read and the top of the morning to ya.  |
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Startime55 Member Elite
since 2003-04-05
Posts 2148Alberta, Canada |
I could feel each line and touch the pain even as it was released into the distant sky...A poem that captivates and tells a story I too shared sometime in my life...Well done...*Big Hugs* |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Dear LeeJ The sweet goodbye...of love letting go, yet not. Time is like that. This poem is amazing!  |
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Robert Jordan Member
since 2007-02-07
Posts 392Philadelphia Pa USA |
LeeJ, This is an interesting and well written stream of consciousness poem. My only suggestion would be to start with a cap, and end it with a period. Bobby |
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SPIRIT Senior Member
since 2002-12-29
Posts 1745California Desert |
Great scroll...made this reader feel you were going to hang on just as long as you could before actually - letting go. nusual imagery and I really enjoyed the read - thank you. Dinah |
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HopeS Member Elite
since 2000-12-22
Posts 4596Perth Western Australia |
For some reason I found this to be touching and heartfelt Hope |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
unfortunately the last mind's thoughts are her words seducing you and you respond so quickly so quickly Reading this dredged up some painful memories... but I think I would have felt every word regardless. *S* Stunning write! |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
You have not lost some magic in your woof and weave and like any good angler, you tease the line and draw us in to be drawn and quartered and fried in butter with a tear left over thanking the gods for proof of the spirit of the quest. dang... You did it again.  |
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The Lady Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634The Southwest |
yes you did it again and as usual you did it so well... "naked wood trusted amber lyrics between stranger's minds" |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
quote: Extremely captivating. Powerful write, dear LeeJ. Never expect anything less than that, of course! Love, Margherita |
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1slick_lady Member Ascendant
since 2000-12-22
Posts 6088standing on a shadow's lace |
"we were good were we not?" you leave me so speechless and so breathless tearing at my heart |
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