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Open Poetry #40

Immaculate

he11oxNASTY
Junior Member

since 2007-02-21

Posts 27

0 posted 2007-03-02 05:13 PM

Do I impress you?
I'm trying to get through
but I've gotten myself stuck in objection.
I'm starving to get where you are
and I've never, ever tried so hard
to be so bold.
So you should know
that you make me shake.
And your immaculateness seems to fake.
But I've gotten to the point where my mind is subliminal
compared to yours;
Well, I'm just not human anymore.

April-Lyn

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

1 posted 2007-03-07 09:15 PM

It sounds as if someone
has put you in such a place
that putting your own self down
becomes up.

Good writing here, and I will wait
for some more.

Rottiestyl
Member

since 2007-04-19

Posts 60
Illinois, USA

2 posted 2007-04-20 07:41 AM

but I've gotten myself stuck in objection.

What a great line! THIS was a great poem my friend...honestly.

LeeJ
Member Patricius

since 2003-06-19

Posts 13296

3 posted 2007-04-20 07:50 AM

I'm smiling, and a chill rose up the back of my spine, this was profoundly beautiful

Drauntz
Member Elite

since 2007-03-16

Posts 2905
Los Angeles California

4 posted 2007-04-20 10:41 AM

what a sigh!

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

5 posted 2007-04-20 11:04 AM

wow!

I must agree with the others here

awesome piece!

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