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Juju
Member Elite

since 2003-12-29

Posts 3429
In your dreams

0 posted 2006-09-25 12:23 PM

So Blame me
for I am innocent
until I'm proven guilty

I will take your words
and hope that my tears
Will cleanse the poison

I will Take Your glares
And pray my actions
Will be that of grace

I will take injury
and pleed that justice
Will deliver me

-<>-~-<>-~-<>-
* Juju *
-<>-~-<>-~-<>-

[This message has been edited by Juju (09-26-2006 05:47 PM).]

Joyce Johnson

Member Rara Avis

since 2001-03-10

Posts 9912
Washington State

1 posted 2006-09-25 11:10 PM

Taking the high road. Good for you. Love, Joyce

Trillium

Member Patricius

since 2001-03-09

Posts 12098
Idaho, USA

2 posted 2006-09-26 10:21 PM

Juju: Heavy words for a young and lovely girl! I hope this is just pretend!

Betty Lou

Betty Lou Hebert

ChePacifica
Member

since 2006-09-26

Posts 58
Ignore Alien Orders

3 posted 2006-09-29 01:20 AM

nice flow to this

pegasus111
Member Elite

since 2000-07-27

Posts 2219
ocala, fl, usa

4 posted 2006-10-02 03:58 PM

nicely done.You might want to read one I did along the same lines called "Deadly Brew". Peace.

the woods are lovely, dark, and deep, but I have promises to keep, and many miles to go before I sleep...Frost

Juju
Member Elite

since 2003-12-29

Posts 3429
In your dreams

5 posted 2006-10-04 04:00 PM

Thank you,

-Juju

-<>-~-<>-~-<>-
* Juju *
-<>-~-<>-~-<>-

Darque Poet/TAP2 Reborn
New Member

since 2006-11-01

Posts 1
Illinois, USA

6 posted 2006-11-01 05:37 PM

Beautifully written
My heart is smitten

Let not a word go unspoken,
A thought go unheard
Let not one heart be broken
Dream of a perfect world

-Th.A.P.

Don_Juan
Member

since 2004-04-08

Posts 252
Far from where I am going

7 posted 2006-11-02 12:22 PM

"I will take your words
and hope that my tears
will cleanse the poison"

that stanza floored me. For some reason it was extremely powerful.

One minor tweak i would suggest is to get rid of the "I'm" in the third line of the first stanza. My only reason for this is there was an "I am" in the line above it.

Loved the poem, very powerful.

nice use of muffin

Juju
Member Elite

since 2003-12-29

Posts 3429
In your dreams

8 posted 2006-11-02 12:49 PM

Yes your absolutly right Don. Its nice to hear from you again.

-Juju

Juju
Member Elite

since 2003-12-29

Posts 3429
In your dreams

9 posted 2006-11-02 12:53 PM

Oh pegasis, I had trouble finding your poem. If you send me a link I will go read it.

_Juju

-Juju

-"So you found a girl
Who thinks really deep thougts
What's so amazing about really deep thoughts " Silent all these Years, Tori Amos

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