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Teen Poetry #8
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18 and high
| Teen Poetry #8 |
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18 and high |
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18 Junior Member
since 2007-03-28
Posts 25 |
its part from my other entry ever boy and girl 18 and High He don’t come home anymore Impaired by more than the drugs he’s on Sure of where he’ll go; far from All-American, somewhere in a song, or close to a hole Its all his own and done Connection gone with closing doors Roots have grown to be torn from a place called home Selfishly you snatch at dirt and unearth to displace you from your own Fist orphaned of a worldly conception hit the sky looking for more Slipped between a tight fingers grip horrified he dropped a dream Now he’s a dreams deception shy Fallen feet fell in step on to broken floors looking to fly A crypt kept remembrance of a man that didn’t die Blind and unspoken yet relentless he slept in his eyes Your head harbors judgments of mothers and fathers in constant despise of what you are no longer He’s spent long nights listening leaving him restless Gasping for meaning left him breathless He’s now on the run Regret the ghost he has become even more so that he was a son All that meant was abandonment A father had a son he didn’t want Written on pages so to be read like paper cuts to flaunt was a love never got Bleeding heart plea that a mother stopped caring Thoughts that live between dusk and dawn chase the days denying the sun So this is the life he chose, of broken bottles and buddies Sorrows rolled in a cigarette smolder to ash and fill the tray of aftermath in which you’re living in Smoking impotence, breathing in deep and exhale with the grievance of a so called death as if the boy of whom you speak is past tense in lyrics He sits ready to spill his guilt and guts Never sang enough He never had enough Waiting for somebody to listen Mistrust twists tongue to say wicked wrongs Conscience hastens upon a song lush taste of disgust He strums pity in strings delicate touch He sings that he’s been forgot 18 and high the world was not but had an eye to help destruct Life he wants denied so swore to drown in this denial Teen angst brought pieces of his world down Now nothing of the child he’s been Magnificent he was filled with dreams Body he was born with Wrote poems and sonnets with colors of sunbeams Skin naked posed upon this planet as though canvas for purity Stained by reality He played a destiny to be great Notes over played told a fate wrote in smoke Closed the pain now seeing engraves written in stone Home comes slow in what he sings And he sang “This is my soul Singing it all through the heart beat touched Rhythm pushed blood into my veins and lungs So I could breathe and take in breathe Exhaled to sing and God let me sing this Cuz I been lost” Synonyms for regret and sorrow continue in friends Harlots for depression and so are now depressed Fingers placed upon frets felt what they meant Loves reprise lift wet red clouds from blood shot eyes Conscience choked red skies now clear to white Down the neck he strokes a joy for life Renewed chest rose with passion and fell in exertion A boy found purpose in hearts he’s broken A meaning for a first to virgin words carried on stuttered verses Shrouds of dry worthlessness pulled down in curtains Melted walls collapsed and crumbled Before devils steps forth a man from puddles of helter skelter Cut the rope severed from around your soul Untold restore that boy never felt there or here or anywhere |
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hunnie_girl
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567Canada |
He don’t come home anymore Impaired by more than the drugs he’s on~ i loved the beginning. A little long though kinda kept dragging on so maybe cut it down a but... I don't know if you mind crittique so i'll leave it here... good write hunnie  ~fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me~ |
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18 Junior Member
since 2007-03-28
Posts 25 |
critique is what i want hit me back k |
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hunnie_girl
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567Canada |
Well ummm it was long and some of the structure was off. maybe even just shorten the lines and make it flow better.. ummm not the best at critiqing hmmm.. but yah thats about it. hunnie ~fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me~ |
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Reba Burt New Member
since 2007-05-31
Posts 9Indiana |
i agree with Hunnie but it was good I love you all |
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