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nostalgic*pride
Member

since 2006-08-23

Posts 122
NowhereVille

0 posted 2006-09-15 12:49 PM

I lie here in my despair
Daydreaming of a better world
Where there is no conflict
Or remorse for a young girl

I close my eyes and sigh
As I think up plans for revenge
When I see the screaming faces
A smile grazes my lips

First to go would be my father
That faded my youthfull light
He'd be sorry he ever touched me
On that horrifying night

Next of course would be my mother
The wench that did me wrong
Perhaps she's see the error of her ways
And how she hurt me all along

Then would go all her boyfriends
Those slimy piles of trash
And when they asked what they did wrong
I'd just stand there and laugh

Perhaps next would be my sister
Of course just to shut her mouth
She's way too brutal for my liking
And needs to know what love's about

After that would be my teachers
That never saw the bruises so blue
I can hear them all quiet clearly
'What did we ever do to you?'

Aha, then would go the popular kids
The ones that always mocked me so
Yes, the jocks and cheerleaders
Will certainly have to go

I slowly open my eyes
And in silence shake my head
Such a perfect world will only exist
When I'm finally dead

~~~Yeah, I bit morbid. Whatever.~~~

rhia_5779
Senior Member

since 2006-06-09

Posts 1334
California

1 posted 2006-09-15 01:13 PM

very morbid, i dont know wut to say. creepy kinda. sry. not ur best either

nostalgic*pride
Member

since 2006-08-23

Posts 122
NowhereVille

2 posted 2006-09-15 01:15 PM

*Pouts* Okay, thanks for the comment. I suppose you're right. It's not really good at all is it? *Stares at poem in notebook* Yeah, okay.

krazy 4 her
Junior Member

since 2006-09-14

Posts 38
Your parent's front porch

3 posted 2006-09-15 02:37 PM

Yeah, it is a morbid poem, but I like it. I think she did a good job. Maybe not her best, but still a really good poem. *pats on head* Don't cry. I know how badly you take rejection. And I can see where rhia is coming from. But you're still fabulous, the poem's still great, and life continues.

deceitful_siren
Junior Member

since 2006-09-14

Posts 20
USA

4 posted 2006-09-15 02:56 PM

Hmph, this is the second time you've dissed me in a poem. Am I really that horrible? I hope not. Lol. Whatever, some must suffer for the sake of great art. And I love this. Although, I do think it may be more true to the Dark Poetry section. Still, fantastic job. Keep up the good work, sis.

hunnie_girl

Member Elite

since 2006-06-18

Posts 2567
Canada

5 posted 2006-09-15 10:41 PM

i agree with krazy i liked it not one of your best but i can see where you are coming from but not about your sis it seems like you two are sorta close *jealous sigh* haha but anyways i liked it a little morbid tho haha like you said
hunnie*

A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your
heart.

stargal
Senior Member

since 2006-03-06

Posts 1352
OR USA

6 posted 2006-09-16 05:05 PM

Umm, I kind of agree with rhia, it IS morbid and I don't believe it to be one of your bests... But it is an interesting daydream, I used to think of all the stuff I could do to my younger sibs...

Soo... I hope you'll continue posting but I think this one is a little bit to dark, at the moment, for my tastes

"I pray thee, O God, that I
may be beautiful within."
–Socrates
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