Mangled Appendage - pipTalk Forums

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Teen Poetry #8

Mangled Appendage

Kaos
Member

since 2001-08-02

Posts 317
between space and time

0 posted 2007-02-17 01:21 PM

Trying to run
need to escape
promised i could fly
crash to the earth
fallen again
wings clipped
throbbing pain
soulless shell
walking hollow in life
grabbing at nothing
Longing only you
but you're gone

" Everytime he held you close, yea were you thinking of me..." Stab My Back-All American Rejects

hunnie_girl

Member Elite

since 2006-06-18

Posts 2567
Canada

1 posted 2007-02-20 01:49 AM

ahhh I really liked this it reminded me of the poems at PIP like 4 years ago. Very nice...
hunnie

~fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me~

CrAzI_bAbI_cHiKa
Member

since 2003-07-16

Posts 248

2 posted 2007-05-04 11:48 AM

You've still got it Kaos. Do you feel like bringing back the old PIP with me? haha, posting things that don't have the words "you ain't" or "****"?

I think your penultimum line should be "longing only for you" but hey, what do i know?

Cheers<3

rhia_5779
Senior Member

since 2006-06-09

Posts 1334
California

3 posted 2007-05-05 07:46 AM

I like the title, and I agree that the ending line should be longing for you because that is what its about. It is like it was with PiP like before. Nice work

the_girl_next_door
Senior Member

since 2006-02-26

Posts 591
USA

4 posted 2007-05-09 05:47 PM

wow. this is great. It's been a while since i've been on because my computer has been down but i absolutely loved this. you always write great poems. great job.

Heather!

Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes.
Want nothing & you will have everything.

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