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Teen Poetry #8
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Quiet Him
| Teen Poetry #8 |
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Quiet Him |
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whitelielovely Member
since 2006-12-11
Posts 146Australia |
So what do you? She whispered to the wind When the one who needs your help wont take it? The wind whips her hair in response to her words She lies down on her stomach, her chin in her hands Trying not to weep for such a small pointless thing How do you respond to a silent plea? She asked Light synthetic music reaches her ears and she sleeps She dances in clouds of wine red and drinks honey Laughing with a King from the edge of the world Smiling the sun out as she dreams in peace of a dream She awakes and reality hits like a dip in cold water The anguish she feels for one who hurts inside himself He fakes- but she really knows, his face says it all But silently he keeps his burden on his own shoulders She watches him as she would Atlas- wanting to help Off her tiny mountain- out of the whispering winds She descends to the base, still wanting to help poor him By chance or by providence she sees him sadly in the road Intervention has no hold on her, she walks away cowardly Sad but not rejected of her help, but he saw her too So he fells his way throw the crowd to her ever further form He saw the look of her face when she saw him- revulsion and pain He had to fix this it hurt him immensely to see her look at him like that When she entered the forest she slowed and never looking back she said I needed to talk to you too; - she always knew these types of things He knew not to ask- her answer was always simply that she just knew She sat on a rock and waiting- determined not to be the first to speak He saw this in her face and dutifully spoke first to break all silence Telling her all that he had burdened- something he rarely did tell her When he finished she looked up and half smiling said- I’m glad you could tell me Love is never foolish- and if it is, it is a Divine Foolishness. |
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rhia_5779 Senior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 1334California |
So what do you? She whispered to the wind* do you mean what do you do? maybe.. and how does the wind whispering relate. When the one who needs your help wont take it? The wind whips her hair in response to her words *what words are there? She lies down on her stomach, her chin in her hands Trying not to weep for such a small pointless thing How do you respond to a silent plea? She asked*is she pleaing or is she asking a question how to respond? Light synthetic music reaches her ears and she sleeps She dances in clouds of red wine and drinks honey Laughing with a King from the edge of the world *hoo is the king? where did he come from what? Smiling the sun out as she dreams in peace of a dream*dreams of a dream? what is the dream? She awakes and reality hits like a dip in cold water The anguish she feels for one who hurts inside himself He fakes- but she really knows, his face says it all But silently he keeps his burden on his own shoulders She watches him as she would Atlas- wanting to help Off her tiny mountain- out of the whispering winds She descends to the base, still wanting to help poor him By chance or by providence she sees him sadly in the road Intervention has no hold on her, she walks away cowardly Sad but not rejected of her help, but he saw her too *what did you mean by the first part of the sentence So he fells his way throw the crowd to her ever further form*stop inverting the sentences write them the right way. He saw the look of her face when she saw him- revulsion and pain*I thought she wants to help He had to fix this it hurt him immensely to see her look at him like that When she entered the forest she slowed and never looking back she said I needed to talk to you too; - she always knew these types of things*what types of things does she know? He knew not to ask- her answer was always simply that she just knew She sat on a rock and waiting- determined not to be the first to speak*why if she wanted to talk to HIM? He saw this in her face and dutifully spoke first to break the silence Telling her all that he had burdened- something he rarely did tell her *punctuate after did.. and relate the next to words to everything else When he finished she looked up and half smiling said- I’m glad you could tell me Love is never foolish- and if it is, it is a Divine Foolishness. This was confusing |
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whitelielovely Member
since 2006-12-11
Posts 146Australia |
stpo reading into it so much and try to just look at it and read the whole thing and try to play it in your mind then it will make more sense Love is never foolish- and if it is, it is a Divine Foolishness. |
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