Teen Poetry #8 |
Silence |
stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
Silence prevails on crystal morning air, reigning with an iron fist, denying the existence of words wishing to be spoken. Binding friends apart, hollow strangers in frigid ebony. Each not willing to surrender unbroken silence, cherishing a tragic mirage of secrets held by unmoving lips. Afraid to ignite a kerosene stage, each waits in amplified silence, refusing to risk a rescue of a broken friendship… "I pray thee, O God, that I may be beautiful within." –Socrates @-->--- |
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© Copyright 2006 stargal - All Rights Reserved | |||
bekahlekah45 Senior Member
since 2006-03-14
Posts 533 |
wow. amazing poem. very...very..umm..idk what the word im looking for is. nice use of vocab. good flow, just an all round great poem and it amazes me. i read it twice to get a grasp of it and i think that this is just. Im in awe of this poem omg!! im basically just rambling now, but its cuz of how much i really enjoyed it. seriously! |
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bekahlekah45 Senior Member
since 2006-03-14
Posts 533 |
putting in library... |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
Hmm... Thanks bekah, but I think you were being to kind towards this poem. The more I look at what I've written the more dissatisfied I become with this poem. It appears, to me, that, the poem, is rather disjointed, that sentences don’t flow easily into each other. The poem doesn’t make much sense when you read it? I’m not quite sure what’s wrong with it, any advice? lol... Thanks for the reply though, it is appreciated... "I pray thee, O God, that I |
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bekahlekah45 Senior Member
since 2006-03-14
Posts 533 |
well, i must tell you, i'm a very complex person. the more poems and things confuse others, the more sense it makes to me. haha i've noticed that. and this is another example. because its not about how the poem is written, its about what the poem is saying. and i believe you said what you wanted and it came across great. to me at least. IDK what kind of advice to give you only because i dont want you to change anything. i would ask a "simple" person. not someone so complex such as i. |
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nostalgic*pride Member
since 2006-08-23
Posts 122NowhereVille |
Change nothing. This poem is really, really good. Change anything and I shall... do something... in a non-threatening way... |
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bekahlekah45 Senior Member
since 2006-03-14
Posts 533 |
lol nostalgic*pride thats great. i agree with you. we should start one of those...thingy's oh yeah a protest! with signs! CHANGE NOTHING! CHANGE NOTHING! : ) |
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bekahlekah45 Senior Member
since 2006-03-14
Posts 533 |
I want to give you the honor of being my 300th post. congratulations. yay you! woot woot! |
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nostalgic*pride Member
since 2006-08-23
Posts 122NowhereVille |
Yes, we should start a club for 'non-threatening Change Nothing protestors'. Hehe. What should we name it?? Gosh, I hate this. People have, like, a zillion posts and I have less than sixty. Grr... |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
A zillion posts?!? lolz! Well, for starters you just joined, last month, so we don't expect you to have a "zillion" posts, for another, it doesn't really matter as long as you keep postin' Uhh... Change nothing protesters? Well, I for one shall protest the change nothing protesters protesting! I love changing my work, in fact, I ALWAYS change it at least 3xs... lolz How about a club for change nothing for other people other than myself? I can't live without changing my work, you'd all hate it if I didn't change. Thanks for the posts by the way, been an interestin' experience getting everyones ideas "I pray thee, O God, that I |
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nostalgic*pride Member
since 2006-08-23
Posts 122NowhereVille |
Thanks for ruining the dream!! Gosh!! Lolz, just kidding. Huh, ya I know. But still, I feel all jealous. I must have more posts!! Muhahahaha!! *coughs, shifty eyes* Err, nevermind. |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
You could always steal my password, murder me, bury me underneath an old bridge, and hope nobody figures out me isn't me? Whaddya think? lolz "I pray thee, O God, that I |
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nostalgic*pride Member
since 2006-08-23
Posts 122NowhereVille |
Hmm... this could work... Step 1. Figure out password LOL |
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pencil&paper Member
since 2006-09-09
Posts 76asleep somewhere in my head |
i really liked this poem, even though i don't know why i liked it(i know i'm weird) but i do have a favorite part: Silence prevails on crystal morning air, reigning with an iron fist, denying the existence of words wishing to be spoken. |
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bekahlekah45 Senior Member
since 2006-03-14
Posts 533 |
lol stargal ur getting a bit morbid for me. and as for the protesting me and her protesting...YOU'RE OUTNUMBERED! woot woot! and if you change it, only change like a comma or 2. none of the words. k? k! woot woot go me and *that word* pride! (i forgot your username lol) |
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nostalgic*pride Member
since 2006-08-23
Posts 122NowhereVille |
nostalgic*pride It means something like being a hopeless romantic. Just call me Pride, I prefer it shortened that way. =) Hehe, UR OUTNUMBERED!! MUHAHAHAHA!!! |
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bekahlekah45 Senior Member
since 2006-03-14
Posts 533 |
yesssa! we're gangin up on her! woot! you cant stop us now stagal! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! *grins* I AM EVIL!! but shhh lets not tell the authorities about that detail... |
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the_girl_next_door Senior Member
since 2006-02-26
Posts 591USA |
Wow.. Stargal.. this is the most beatiful thing I have ever read of yours.. Great job.. This has a wonderful meaning.. so true.. Hope to read more like this.. ~heather~ Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes. |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
Aww, but the two of you have forgotten something, eh? I'm, probably, older than both of you! So with my highly intelligent brain *cough* not *cough* I shall prevail in the end! Brain strikes again! As for getting my password, you'll never get it! Hahahaha "I pray thee, O God, that I |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
Me? Morbid? NEVER! Thinks to self: after I suck out all their brains I'll throw their bodies to my oversized green frog! muhahaha oooooooooook... That might be takin' it a little to far! "I pray thee, O God, that I |
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bekahlekah45 Senior Member
since 2006-03-14
Posts 533 |
lol dork! haha i guess you're around....17? idk. my guess. |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
Sadly, yes, I am a dork lolz... Interesting guess, how old are you? I've forgotten now... "I pray thee, O God, that I |
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bekahlekah45 Senior Member
since 2006-03-14
Posts 533 |
okay so i'm 15 but i might as well be 16! my birthday is in april....haha okay so thats a ways away...alright i'm 15. |
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nostalgic*pride Member
since 2006-08-23
Posts 122NowhereVille |
God, you're both older than me. Well, stargal is if she's 17... I JUST turned 15, like TODAY!! |
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deceitful_siren Junior Member
since 2006-09-14
Posts 20USA |
Err... whatever. I wanted to say the poem was really good. I'm younger than that so I WIN. (13) |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
Thanks Siren, glad ya liked it BTW - happy birthday pride!!! and ... hahaha to both of you, lolz The change nothing protesters should be established soon if we gonna start "I pray thee, O God, that I |
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nostalgic*pride Member
since 2006-08-23
Posts 122NowhereVille |
Yeah, it should. Hmm, we need to have a meeting... |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
This is getting odd to continue posting and re-posting like this, do you suppose the moderators mind?!?! I wonder if I've said something with objectionable content yet? Like murder!! lolz So, when we going to start this "meeting" and whose invited and whose going to bring the cookies and tea? ooooooooooooooooooooook... I should get back to work "I pray thee, O God, that I |
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rhia_5779 Senior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 1334California |
oh high five kiara over the internet, im 13 also. we rock. haha u guys are all old. were young. lol jk. im 13, but lets just say for the sake of the older thing im 1300 ok, so i win. both im oldest and youngest. doesnt make sense but wutever. i dont even get wut i just said atually. lol. very good poem beautiful use of vocab. i agree dont change anything. im joining the group. and really to the ages, well kiara i wasnt too surprised cause Pride called u her younger sister on the other one, and i didnt thinnk she (pride) was that old so i guessed around 13-14. stargall that was suprising,i thought u were like 17-16, cause u write all sophisticated i dunno u just make me think of someone 17. and bekah i thought u were 14 or 15 or 16. then buttercup i thought u were 14 till the Your child poem(forgot the name) now i think ur like 16? and ya. but still stargal dont change anything its really good. it sgood the way it is. its beautiful in its own way. |
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rhia_5779 Senior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 1334California |
i want cookies and tea, the parents had a meeting at our school today and when we went out for break we got cookies, but not any tea. i was sad, they ruined my dream. how could they? just one day i could have cookies and tea, nope and they ruined me lol that all rymes. im a poet, lol . im kinda rambling. but back to serious things. i still want cookies and tea |
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rhia_5779 Senior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 1334California |
before i said i was 13 how old did u think i was? change nothing wheres the cookies and tea |
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rhia_5779 Senior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 1334California |
will someone read Secrets and Americas legacy cause noone is reading my poems anymore im alll sad. i liked americas legacy . but someone will u read it and give me feedback. pleez |
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deceitful_siren Junior Member
since 2006-09-14
Posts 20USA |
Jeez that was a lot of posting. Lolz, I wanna join!!! But, shouldn't we lable a thread somewhere for the meeting? Maybe we could ask a mod... I CAN BRING TEA!!! I MAKE GOOD TEA!!! |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
Darling peoples! Err.. I mean Rhia, how dare you assume you are older than me, cause I haven’t said my age yet! And since you are 1300 I am now… uhh… 100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 00000000000000000000000000000000000, I win, right? Lol Is that even a number? Humm... it's funny how many times I am suprised at peoples ages. I must be a bad guesser or something. Rhia, I thought you were 14-15, guess I was wrong, again! Glad ya liked the poem though "I pray thee, O God, that I |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
Uhh... If we make a new post for the meeting someone is going to have to tell me, EXACTLY, how to get there. I'm a little dense at finding things... lolz "I pray thee, O God, that I |
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nostalgic*pride Member
since 2006-08-23
Posts 122NowhereVille |
Hmm, does that mean you're ten? |
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nostalgic*pride Member
since 2006-08-23
Posts 122NowhereVille |
o, and I agree... |
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deceitful_siren Junior Member
since 2006-09-14
Posts 20USA |
I think we can make the thread in 'Poetry Workshop'. It's in the category down below the one all of the poems and stuff are in. |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
Uhh.. I think that poetry workshop is for those who want to work on making their poems better than what they already are? What about the lounge or something? I am NOT ten! lolz Here is a hint though: I act younger than I am but older than I am. I'm a happy medium, me. "I pray thee, O God, that I |
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deceitful_siren Junior Member
since 2006-09-14
Posts 20USA |
Basicaly, as an average, you act your age?? Yeah! The lounge would be perfect!! Somebody can go start the 'meeting' while me and my sis prepare 'snacks'! |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
Oh, me, me, me!! I wanna start it, MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! *raises hand* What do we put IN the meeting content? lolz "I pray thee, O God, that I |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
Yanno, this might not be such a good idea, the time difference will be killer^^ "I pray thee, O God, that I |
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deceitful_siren Junior Member
since 2006-09-14
Posts 20USA |
Hmm, that's true you know. Oh well, it'll be okay I guess. You decide if we should do it or not. |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
Well... it's really up to all of us as a whole, lets wait two days for the replies from others before we decide^^ Also, someone might wanna ask a moderator if it's ok? "I pray thee, O God, that I |
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rhia_5779 Senior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 1334California |
im confused, i still want cookie and tea |
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*Alli4000*
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188The World of Poetry |
Haha, I was looking through the forum and I saw 43 replies and I'm like o_O. Anyhow, nice job with the poem, but I think after reading everyone's conversation here, my brain has officially died. Lol. What type of "meeting" is this exactly you're trying to set up? |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
Truthfully? I haven't the faintest idea what we are trying to get up! Something to do with "change nothing protestors" along with cookies and tea (Yes, you may have cookies n tea Rhia), other than that I'm guessing it's to just talk. Instead of spending so much time posting where we're not supposed to be posting, I think? "I pray thee, O God, that I |
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John O'Driscoll Junior Member
since 2006-03-13
Posts 43Sandy, Utah |
hey that was a way awesome poem. it was like an abstract painting. the poem made perfect sense on a level that i dont understand. but it really meant something to me. wierd. anyways it rocks John True happiness is found after you think you have irretrievably lost it |
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*Alli4000*
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188The World of Poetry |
quote: Well, this is a poetry forum, so yes, it might be better to take your meeting to the lounge or one of the other discussion forums so other people can join in as well. Not everyone is going to know to look in this particular thread, of course. |
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bekahlekah45 Senior Member
since 2006-03-14
Posts 533 |
lol! i missed ALOT! and thats an understatement! my word! i like cookes, tea is nasty lets have hot chocolate! mm mm good baby! I like pbj... |
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nostalgic*pride Member
since 2006-08-23
Posts 122NowhereVille |
Okay, I am very impatient. Sooo, I started this thread in the lounge. It's called the Change Nothing Protestors {Lol}. Sooo, let's move this convo there shall we? |
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bekahlekah45 Senior Member
since 2006-03-14
Posts 533 |
wheres the lounge??? |
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bekahlekah45 Senior Member
since 2006-03-14
Posts 533 |
ooh nvm i found it! |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
I can't believe this thing is on page three! "I pray thee, O God, that I |
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krazy 4 her Junior Member
since 2006-09-14
Posts 38Your parent's front porch |
Honestly, I didn't read the poem. I just saw so many replies and thought I'd look. You guys are a strange lot, but then again... everyone in contact with me is strange. Sooo... |
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rebel~angel Member
since 2006-06-20
Posts 71Iowa USA |
Well, I don't know why we're discussing age, but I'll be 16 in a week! Anyway, I agree with everybody, I like this just the way it is... I couldn't tell you why, but I just really like the way it sounds. Remember:Tuck your chin, you're going to get hurt, so expect it and be ready. You might as well see it coming. |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
"Honestly, I didn't read the poem. I just saw so many replies and thought I'd look." Sheesh! That makes me feel just ducky! lolz Thanks for taking the time to see what we were talking about at least... "I pray thee, O God, that I |
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hunnie_girl
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567Canada |
well i read the poem and then the comments an wow if i wasn't dizzy fromliking the poem i'm dizzy from the randomness of the conversation:P haha yea don't change anything i liked this a lot hunnie* A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your |
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tearsoflove13762 Member
since 2004-09-05
Posts 488Texas.. and yes i have an accent |
gosh this one lets me know just how much i have really missed this place! especially your poems! great vocab and its short, but still to the point ... loved it basically... lol -Laura |
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rhia_5779 Senior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 1334California |
We have succeeded ! She did not change anything, yet. Victory is ours!!!!! |
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bekahlekah45 Senior Member
since 2006-03-14
Posts 533 |
WOOHOO!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I think the whole underwear thing was what got her to change her mind about changing it. |
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nick_lyss Member
since 2006-08-21
Posts 88 |
its a really great poem |
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hunnie_girl
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567Canada |
yea it was def. the underwear thing haha but we had some good times haha good poem again stargal but you gotta post more cuz i miss your poems... hunnie* A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your |
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The Shadow in Blue Member
since 2006-05-18
Posts 493EL, Michigan |
Fabulous poem Stargal, but can I point out one thing. This is the MOST random thread in this forum I have come across and for that I give you Stargal and Co the Nobel Prize of Craziness *solemn voice and cheesy smile* Oh and the Pip lounge discussion that I read seemed...very...umm...why did you talk about underwear...Oh the word was procrastinating with perfection. No one actually protested. VERY disappointing. God I missed this site. ^_^ Jill |
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bekahlekah45 Senior Member
since 2006-03-14
Posts 533 |
Um, revised version. Do it now or i'll hurt you. lol anyone who reads that DO NOT take it seirously. im just an evil person who wishes evil on stargal. haha jk again. we're friends its all good |
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rhia_5779 Senior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 1334California |
You will hurt her with your evil underwear knowin of using against stargal abilities |
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The Shadow in Blue Member
since 2006-05-18
Posts 493EL, Michigan |
*grabs pitchfork and farmer's hat donning a bewildered grin* Did I miss the flogging? |
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bekahlekah45 Senior Member
since 2006-03-14
Posts 533 |
no, its just begun! I've got my spear! Lets do this! |
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The Shadow in Blue Member
since 2006-05-18
Posts 493EL, Michigan |
YIPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!! (sidebar:I LOVE coffee-caffeine rocks...) *starts to creep slowly towards Stargal, smiling devilishly, while bouncing on her heels* |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
Clarification please? Are you bouncing on MY heels or YOUR heels? "I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars." - Og Mandino @-->--- |
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The Shadow in Blue Member
since 2006-05-18
Posts 493EL, Michigan |
my heels-don't ask why....too much sugar...can't stop moving ^_^ |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
That's what I thought, just felt like bein' stupid n asking! lolz SUGER? Didja know if you drink 6mountain dews in an hour it's an overdose? Although... I must admit it doesn't have much of an effect on me other then you gotta go a lot!~ "I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars." - Og Mandino @-->--- |
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The Shadow in Blue Member
since 2006-05-18
Posts 493EL, Michigan |
What size bottle of mountain dew because I pretty much can chug down as much pop as you can find in short amounts of time. Of course I can't do that now because my stupid school district thinks H.S. students don't need caffeine (stupid teachers holding back and hindering the learning process...Do they know that teenagers need sugar to stay awake in class-I think not) Anyways. back to the flogging. I'll give you a 5 second head start Stargal...starting 5 seconds ago...MUWHAHAHA |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
I'm protected though The Aflac duck will protect me! Err... is that spelled right? "I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars." - Og Mandino @-->--- |
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The Shadow in Blue Member
since 2006-05-18
Posts 493EL, Michigan |
BUT what you don't know is that I payed the Aflac (at least I think it's spelled aflac...or maybe it's spelled Aflec *strokes chin perplexed*) duck off, so you would think you were "protected", but in all actuality he is going to sneak up behind you and bite you in the @ss-figuritively...or maybe literally-who knows. SO ha got you there. ^_^ |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
Ah, but what YOU don't know is that the Aflac duck told me what you did and I paid him even MORE to set you up for ...err... Malicious intent? "I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars." - Og Mandino @-->--- |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
Ah, but what YOU don't know is that the Aflac duck told me what you did and I paid him even MORE to set you up for ...err... Malicious intent? wierd... It made me double post? "I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars." - Og Mandino @-->--- |
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The Shadow in Blue Member
since 2006-05-18
Posts 493EL, Michigan |
tisk tisk tisk first you double post then next you will start breaking into banks-it's a vicious cycle Why that evil duck...going behind my back after I went behind your back just because you shelled out more money...Oh now I suddenly remembered something-I hired a whole squad of ducks (enemies of said aflac duck) as back up, apparently *Al Pachino/Scarface voice* your little friend has been a little behind on his gambling debts. I even have Mr. Aflac's evil twin brother. So HAH, 1 army vs. 2 people/duck I think I win |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
*Sigh* What a shame you didn't know about my gaurd dog. I'm afraid my dog ate your ducks for getting to close to me! Such a terrible loss for you... "I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars." - Og Mandino @-->--- |
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bekahlekah45 Senior Member
since 2006-03-14
Posts 533 |
u have no power against my dragons. grrrr i have no idea what the fights baout but i still decided my dragon will defeat you all. |
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bekahlekah45 Senior Member
since 2006-03-14
Posts 533 |
COME ON STARGAL!!!!!!!! |
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