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Teen Poetry #8

bestest friend

*wishfull*thinking*
Junior Member

since 2006-09-03

Posts 33
north east of england

0 posted 2006-12-16 02:26 PM

When I cry you help me out
When I'm happy you hear me shout
When I grin you know I'm really mad
because you are my best friend
You can tell when I'm sad

You're there in thick and thin
You're my best friend
You hear me out when I want to talk
You help me out when I get mad
You are the bestest friend I've ever had

So hear me out when I say
You're the light in my day
You are the moon in my night
You shine very bright
You are the bestest friend I have
and I miss you

I'm miles from where you are,
I lay down on the cold gound,
I pray that something picks me up,
And sets me down in your warm arms

nick_lyss
Member

since 2006-08-21

Posts 88

1 posted 2006-12-16 02:42 PM

i like this poem i have just like this.we get into fight but she will always be my best friend

*wishfull*thinking*
Junior Member

since 2006-09-03

Posts 33
north east of england

2 posted 2006-12-16 02:44 PM

glad you like it lol

I'm miles from where you are,
I lay down on the cold gound,
I pray that something picks me up,
And sets me down in your warm arms

Match
Member

since 2002-07-01

Posts 286
Canada Edmonton

3 posted 2006-12-18 07:43 PM

Liked it.

-Ash-

pen&paper
Senior Member

since 2006-06-06

Posts 513

4 posted 2006-12-23 08:52 PM

i have only 1 crit.

"You shine very bright"

i think it messes up the rhythym in hte poem.

try something like this"

"You shine so very bright"

just add one more syllable.

I loved it.

damo451
Junior Member

since 2006-12-29

Posts 18
Western Australia

5 posted 2006-12-30 12:08 PM

Love this. Friends are the most valuable things in life, but yet we still can't own them. We just have to believe in them.

~Damo~

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