My amazing unhappiness - pipTalk Forums

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Teen Poetry #8

My amazing unhappiness

*Swing_Life_Away*
Junior Member

since 2006-12-22

Posts 10
UK

0 posted 2006-12-22 04:13 PM

Im me, thats all i can say about that.

But there is one other thing i need to tell you:
i have an amazing family, an amazing group of friends, an amazing life and yet an amazing unhappiness.

I try, i really do, to scoop it up and throw it out, its that thing, that thing above me, that thing below me, that thing surrounding me, suffocating me, blotting everything else out apart from tis own evil, unhappiness, its that thing that is making my amazin life so amazingly unhappy and all i can do is try my hardest to shake it off, to let it go once and for all.
But just like you and me it has a mind of its own, a soul, however disheveld and evil, of its own and thoughts of its very own and it just wont.

It just wont.

so i must live with its endless amazing unhappiness until it one day grows tired of me and my impertence to become unhappy and cold and dark hearted.
so until that day, i will live in fire and blood and anguish with this amazing unhappiness and that is what i will call it, in my optimistic head, untill its pesimistic amazing unhappiness gives up, packs up and leaves.

Just leaves.

DucksCanFly
Junior Member

since 2006-12-20

Posts 20

1 posted 2006-12-22 04:17 PM

I really like the meaning behind this one. The only bad thing I can comment on is the whole set up, it's a bit confusing...and doesn't seem much like a poem. Apart from that, it's really good.

damo451
Junior Member

since 2006-12-29

Posts 18
Western Australia

2 posted 2006-12-30 12:04 PM

I agree, the words are meaningful, but the setup looks more like a story.

~Damo~

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