»
Archives
»
Teen Poetry #8
»
The Pit Fight
| Teen Poetry #8 |
|
The Pit Fight |
|
|
Tempest Member
since 2006-04-28
Posts 247dont eat paint chips!!!! 
|
this is a dream i had put to poem im standing in a pit surrounded by thousands of screaming fans i can hear every voice right here where i stand im clad with nothing but a sword clenched in my trembling hand i can hear it in thier voices its blood that they demand the oppenent is myself he looks me in the eye hes not scared to meet my stare i can tell he is willing to die i run at him, he meets my sin the swords ring out in anger. the hate is there, i feel his arm tear i raise my sword, his danger but right before i make that strike i feel his fear in me. i still my hand, and throw away my words i answered his plea [This message has been edited by Tempest (11-11-2006 07:27 AM).] |
||
| © Copyright 2006 Bryan Girton - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
rhia_5779 Senior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 1334California |
I loved this to the last stanza. It had feeling and spoke to me. the last stanza loses it, you could end it that way but find someway to bring it back. |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
