Teen Poetry #8 |
Fate Has Taken My Baby Away...... |
RevengeIsMine Senior Member
since 2006-07-08
Posts 820Australia |
Well, I have been busy posting away in the Genreal Forums but just incase u dont visit their i am majorly pleased to show you all some more of my work....... Fate Has Taken My Baby Away............ Fate has taken its toll once more To leave us lifeless shocked deeply to the core. A baby perched upon an angels guiding wing. Is carried home, to god’s sweet hymn We seek revenge for the pain now caused For more hurt on a family leaves life slowly paused. How can we learn to forgive? When we hurt so much we can’t bear to live. I have a life to slowly get back too I have people to see and lots to do If I can’t grieve, I can’t carry on And If I don’t carry on well then the devil has won. I pick myself up from this solid ground I hold my head high and I stand proud I will carry on for the one I have lost Because she deserves to see me smile, no matter what the cost To the angels high in heaven, Look after my baby girl Keep her safe and secure, teach her how to twirl If she twirls like a ballerina then I know you have succeeded You’ve made my girl become exactly what I needed. |
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© Copyright 2006 A Typical Aussie Chick - All Rights Reserved | |||
forever*wishing Member
since 2006-05-29
Posts 178where my heart is |
wow...that was really good. great flow, sad...but not at all in an overpoweringly way, and an uplifting end to tie it all up. im not an expert writer or anything, but i do know that this was awesome. = D |
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tapper798 Member
since 2003-07-20
Posts 353My own world |
Um wow...this is one of the best/saddest poems I've read. This had so much emotion in it, behind every line. The rhyming wasn't forced and wow...this was just amazing. Made me tear up a bit. lol AIM-beatufu1tragidy |
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rhia_5779 Senior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 1334California |
BEautiful words!! I hold my head high and I stand proud |
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RevengeIsMine Senior Member
since 2006-07-08
Posts 820Australia |
All of your comments are amazing and i am so truely thankful.... May you all live life the way you would like, Jessica |
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hunnie_girl
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567Canada |
this was a beautifully written poem i loved it...hope to read more soon... hunnie* A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war and a time for peace ~Ecclesiastes 3:8~ |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Your baby girl is twirling like a ballerina among the other angels. She knows you love her and that one day you will be reunited. An exceptionally moving read. My own sister lost her baby girl whom she had named after me. I can understand some of the pain than you must have felt losing your own daughter. God bless both of you! Giving you a loving, comforting, and compassionate hug, EA |
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Renegade Junior Member
since 2006-10-21
Posts 22 |
Death is hard to take when its your baby gal Happiness i can fake But miss her I shall These words came to my head because that poem touched me. i had a friend who got pregnant at 15/16. I wish we didn't live far otherwise I'd be by her side no mattter what. Death always is hard to live with. |
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Mr. Omniscient Member
since 2006-10-28
Posts 134 |
I have read one of your other poems... and well all I have to say is you have done it again. |
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nick_lyss Member
since 2006-08-21
Posts 88 |
hi this was a great poem.it was very sad.im sorry about your baby girl. |
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Tempest Member
since 2006-04-28
Posts 247dont eat paint chips!!!! |
xxxoooxxxoooxxoooxxxoooxxxoooxxxoooxxxoo i just sooo loved it, like fur real, haha...srry my evil twin girl cheerleader that lives in my nostril just popped in to say hi!! |
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baby_gurl908 Junior Member
since 2006-08-22
Posts 15 |
omg this was a great poem it made me cry.. |
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rhia_5779 Senior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 1334California |
ok, tempest thats a bit weird about the cheerleader thing. but i thot when i first read it and still think this was an amazing write. ur also one of my fav writers here.as is tempest, stargal, haley(if she would get her but riting again, and kiara(same to her), and bekah , and tons of others but I cant name them all here good poem |
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MixedChica Junior Member
since 2006-11-10
Posts 34 |
This is a beautiful poem, the words flow together nicley and theres passion and creativity in every line. Keep up the great work |
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