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Teen Poetry #8

Words Under Glass

Clockwork_Orange
Senior Member

since 2007-03-23

Posts 620
Space Camp, IN

0 posted 2009-01-03 07:44 PM

this is the newest song up on my myspace so feel free to check it out. you can just click on my homepage icon and it will come up.
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let me catch your words
so you can see them under glass
silhouetted in red
they look so lovely through the jar

so put them on a shelf
as constant reminder that your never alone
these words are under glass

all the colors of the world
are burning brightly from the bottle
the hues are eating through the canvas
these words are all i have

so put them on a shelf
as constant reminder that your never alone
these words are under glass

viking_metal
Senior Member

since 2007-02-02

Posts 1337
In a Jeep, Minnesota.

1 posted 2009-01-04 07:59 PM

The first stanza was perfect, and If I were you, I'd let that one stanza stand alone.

Some people fall in love and touch the sky, some people fall in love and find quicksand.

Assassin_of_Verse
Member

since 2007-10-23

Posts 330
that So Cal

2 posted 2009-01-06 09:27 PM

A very clear message. I've missed reading yours and other's poems.
Nice one.

There is power in the pen.

young_blood
Senior Member

since 2003-09-19

Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN

3 posted 2009-01-07 08:39 AM

I really like the idea that you had here. I think that the whole "words under glass" thing is cool. Kinda like trophy words. I would like to hear the song as the flow of this is hard to pick up without the music.

Clockwork_Orange
Senior Member

since 2007-03-23

Posts 620
Space Camp, IN

4 posted 2009-01-08 06:56 AM

then just visit www.myspace.com/josalintower

Clockwork_Orange
Senior Member

since 2007-03-23

Posts 620
Space Camp, IN

5 posted 2009-01-08 06:56 AM

ty for listening.

Falling rain

Member Elite

since 2008-01-31

Posts 2178
Small town, Illinois

6 posted 2009-01-08 07:26 AM

Wow! I'm listening to your music on myspace right now and your amazing at guitar and writing! Great work dude!

-Zach

When I see your smile, and I know it’s not for me, that’s when I’ll miss you.

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