Bags' Groove (Take 2) - pipTalk Forums

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Teen Poetry #8

Bags' Groove (Take 2)

young_blood
Senior Member

since 2003-09-19

Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN

0 posted 2008-12-07 08:16 PM

My right leg still jitters a bit,
I wish it would stop that.
More of a twitch than habit
that I can't catch.
Fingers locked,
reason blocked,
I hope my eyes stay closed.

My right eye still sees some color
I wish it would enhance it.
My foot continues to tap the floor
as my cigarette stays lit.
Fingers locked,
smile cocked,
I hope I stay secluded.

My right hand slips to my ear
to rock my head slowly,
Chaos makes sense when so near
but makes me feel lonely.
Smile cocked,
ipod docked,
Bags' Groove (Take 2).

RevengeIsMine
Senior Member

since 2006-07-08

Posts 820
Australia

1 posted 2008-12-08 06:48 PM

Can't belive there's been no comments... Brilliant as per usual!!!

freeand2sexy
Senior Member

since 2008-09-12

Posts 704
CA, USA

2 posted 2008-12-08 07:42 PM

Wow, Great poem!!!

I love pancakes!!!

young_blood
Senior Member

since 2003-09-19

Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN

3 posted 2008-12-08 11:05 PM

I'm glad you guys enjoyed it. I really really struggled with this. The main reason was that I was actually trying to write about a subject. I was forcing words out. Blah. Anyway, thanks.

hunnie_girl

Member Elite

since 2006-06-18

Posts 2567
Canada

4 posted 2008-12-09 12:38 PM

I always enjoy your poems.. the images blow me away
Krysti

Taylor See
Member

since 2008-10-07

Posts 55
North Carolina, US

5 posted 2008-12-16 02:10 PM

Love your poems. The balance of imagery, and that left to the imagination, is wonderful. I love the flow of the poem too =)

Great work

And as each player moves their piece, confident and tall
They forget that they can move themselves, in the greatest game of all

young_blood
Senior Member

since 2003-09-19

Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN

6 posted 2009-01-07 08:37 AM

I'm waiting for the day when you guys don't like something I write. Haha. Thank you all for the encouragement.

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