navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #8 » I don't know why
Teen Poetry #8
Post A Reply Post New Topic I don't know why Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
freeand2sexy
Senior Member
since 2008-09-12
Posts 704
CA, USA

0 posted 2008-11-25 07:23 PM



I don't know why you smile at me
Or why you look into my eyes
Can't imagine what you see
But it's all one big disguise

I don't know why you even care
Or why you try to be my friend
Why are you always there
Saying we'll be together to the end

I don't know why you try so hard
Or why you don't hate me
When I'm the one who split us apart
Cause I thought, it wasn't meant to be

I don't know why I'm such a fool
Or why I let you go
When we could of been so cool
But now I'll never know

I love pancakes!!!

© Copyright 2008 Christine Juarez - All Rights Reserved
GothicCherry
Member
since 2008-09-16
Posts 471
TN
1 posted 2008-11-26 05:53 PM


Sometimes it's better not to know because once you find out it only hurts more. This one is pretty.

=]]

rhia_5779
Senior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 1334
California
2 posted 2008-11-30 01:05 PM


I like it. It flows together well. I feel like if you expand the wording though you could make it really pack a punch. In the last stanza , cool pulls it together but at the same time if you think you could use a different word in that stanza and say the same thing.

Sometimes we make mistakes- thats ok. Holding on to those mistakes will pull you down- think about the choices you make in this moment and forward, you can't change the past but you can't right things and you can do it differently.
I know how you feel though and you feel really bad. If you can get them back- if they haven't let go of you- tell them the truth , all of it, why you acted the way you did and maybe you have a chance to move forward together.
Rhia

freeand2sexy
Senior Member
since 2008-09-12
Posts 704
CA, USA
3 posted 2008-11-30 06:37 PM


yeah the wording isn't the best but i wrote this in only a couple minutes so thats probably why. thanks tho!!

I love pancakes!!!

hunnie_girl
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567
Canada
4 posted 2008-12-01 10:41 PM


WOW! Christine this is such a great poem. I can relate to this so well....
Krysti

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #8 » I don't know why

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary