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Teen Poetry #8

I don't know why

freeand2sexy
Senior Member

since 2008-09-12

Posts 704
CA, USA

0 posted 2008-11-25 07:23 PM

I don't know why you smile at me
Or why you look into my eyes
Can't imagine what you see
But it's all one big disguise

I don't know why you even care
Or why you try to be my friend
Why are you always there
Saying we'll be together to the end

I don't know why you try so hard
Or why you don't hate me
When I'm the one who split us apart
Cause I thought, it wasn't meant to be

I don't know why I'm such a fool
Or why I let you go
When we could of been so cool
But now I'll never know

I love pancakes!!!

GothicCherry
Member

since 2008-09-16

Posts 471
TN

1 posted 2008-11-26 05:53 PM

Sometimes it's better not to know because once you find out it only hurts more. This one is pretty.

=]]

rhia_5779
Senior Member

since 2006-06-09

Posts 1334
California

2 posted 2008-11-30 01:05 PM

I like it. It flows together well. I feel like if you expand the wording though you could make it really pack a punch. In the last stanza , cool pulls it together but at the same time if you think you could use a different word in that stanza and say the same thing.

Sometimes we make mistakes- thats ok. Holding on to those mistakes will pull you down- think about the choices you make in this moment and forward, you can't change the past but you can't right things and you can do it differently.
I know how you feel though and you feel really bad. If you can get them back- if they haven't let go of you- tell them the truth , all of it, why you acted the way you did and maybe you have a chance to move forward together.
Rhia

freeand2sexy
Senior Member

since 2008-09-12

Posts 704
CA, USA

3 posted 2008-11-30 06:37 PM

yeah the wording isn't the best but i wrote this in only a couple minutes so thats probably why. thanks tho!!

I love pancakes!!!

hunnie_girl

Member Elite

since 2006-06-18

Posts 2567
Canada

4 posted 2008-12-01 10:41 PM

WOW! Christine this is such a great poem. I can relate to this so well....
Krysti

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