Teen Poetry #8 |
If I had your eyes |
YoungAmbition New Member
since 2008-09-03
Posts 7London Town! UK baby. |
If I had your eyes would i see the clearness of the skies? Would i see the pale clouds dotted around as if they spill from the pen by which you write? Could i reach out and touch the sun before by dusk it dies? Can i then appreciate the wonder of nature in both darkness and perfect light? If i had your eyes would i see the destruction caused by hate? Would i see broken families torn apart? Could i intervene and adjust our fate? Can i then understand what it feels like to rescue a broken heart? If i had your eyes would i see the love that surrounds us day by day? Would i see the small miracles that come from selflessness? Could i marvel at the innocence with which children play? Can i then save myself from mounting distress? If i had your eyes would i look upon myself with pride? Would it be an image of beauty i'd find? Could i learn to grow stronger with the power i hold inside? If i had your eyes...but my lord i don't. I'm blind. |
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Earl Robertson Senior Member
since 2008-01-21
Posts 753BC, Canada |
WELCOME TO PIP!!! Don't believe Everything you Think |
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XoDenisseoX Junior Member
since 2008-08-09
Posts 14 |
wow thats a really good poem... at first i thought it was more of a romantic poem speaking about maybe another person, yet at the end it turned religious and i still liked it alot =] love your style already, welcome and good job |
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Clockwork_Orange Senior Member
since 2007-03-23
Posts 620Space Camp, IN |
pretty good poem man. some part seemed a little off with timing but thats ok the content was cool. |
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rhia_5779 Senior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 1334California |
Wow, I haven't been on in way too long. Half the people here probablly don't know me. This was really well written- I liked the emotion behind it and the message. It could use a little polishing up but it def has a lot of potential. Nice work and nice first post! Welcome to PIP! Rhia |
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