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Teen Poetry #8
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YoungAmbition
New Member
since 2008-09-03
Posts 7
London Town! UK baby.

0 posted 2008-09-03 03:08 PM



If I had your eyes would i see the clearness of the skies?
Would i see the pale clouds dotted around as if they spill from the pen by which you write?
Could i reach out and touch the sun before by dusk it dies?
Can i then appreciate the wonder of nature in both darkness and perfect light?

If i had your eyes would i see the destruction caused by hate?
Would i see broken families torn apart?
Could i intervene and adjust our fate?
Can i then understand what it feels like to rescue a broken heart?

If i had your eyes would i see the love that surrounds us day by day?
Would i see the small miracles that come from selflessness?
Could i marvel at the innocence with which children play?
Can i then save myself from mounting distress?

If i had your eyes would i look upon myself with pride?
Would it be an image of beauty i'd find?
Could i learn to grow stronger with the power i hold inside?
If i had your eyes...but my lord i don't. I'm blind.





© Copyright 2008 YoungAmbition - All Rights Reserved
Earl Robertson
Senior Member
since 2008-01-21
Posts 753
BC, Canada
1 posted 2008-09-04 05:59 PM


WELCOME TO PIP!!!

Don't believe Everything you Think

XoDenisseoX
Junior Member
since 2008-08-09
Posts 14

2 posted 2008-09-04 08:18 PM


wow thats a really good poem... at first i thought it was more of a romantic poem speaking about maybe another person, yet at the end it turned religious and i still liked it alot =] love your style already, welcome and good job
Clockwork_Orange
Senior Member
since 2007-03-23
Posts 620
Space Camp, IN
3 posted 2008-09-05 06:51 AM


pretty good poem man. some part seemed a little off with timing but thats ok the content was cool.
rhia_5779
Senior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 1334
California
4 posted 2008-09-05 09:15 PM


Wow, I haven't been on in way too long. Half the people here probablly don't know me. This was really well written- I liked the emotion behind it and the message. It could use a little polishing up but it def  has a lot of potential. Nice work and nice first post!
Welcome to PIP!
Rhia

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