Teen Poetry #8 |
Dreams Don't Come True, Nightmares Do (for my best friend) |
XxForever.BrokenxX Senior Member
since 2008-01-20
Posts 891Neverland |
Did I say it today? Did I remind you what you mean to me? Or did I for get to tell you once again, did you forget your promise? I heard our song the other day, the one they wrote for us. But you weren't here with me; You never came back. Sweetie I can't forget all those times I was so blind, I can't forget the pain behind you smile. That beautiful, fake smile. And now I'll never forgive myself. I told you I loved you and did all I could. Though somehow it slipped your mind. You've left me here to cope all alone and I've never cried more tears than I have for you. You mean the world to me. Did I say I was sorry? Did I try to fight? Or has the world really gone insane before my eyes? Promises get broken but it's my heart that worries me. If you're not here, how can I be strong enough to hold it? You kept me sain just by hanging on, you kept me here when you were. You promised, but you never came back. All those times I was so blind, to think that you'd be okay. Even though I saw it, I didn't want to see. And I never forgave myself. I promised you I loved you, did all I could. How could it have slipped your mind? Now you've left me here to cope alone and I've never cried more tears than I have for you. I love you, you were my every reason to live. Wake Up. {~~*~~} "You are not loyal enough to eat my orange jelly beans!...'cuase dat's just how I roll.." {~Emily~} [This message has been edited by XxForever.BrokenxX (07-11-2008 01:01 AM).] |
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© Copyright 2008 Emmalee Yuri - All Rights Reserved | |||
Assassin_of_Verse Member
since 2007-10-23
Posts 330that So Cal |
Hmm... Honestly, I didn't think this was your best... But maybe I'm wrong. Looking past the grammar and spelling, I saw a lot of emotion. Was it regret? Apologetic? I'm not entirely sure. Lol... I ramble... Sorry if this was kinda harsh, but I tend to be too honest. There is power in the pen. |
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XxForever.BrokenxX Senior Member
since 2008-01-20
Posts 891Neverland |
No it's fine. And just to give you some grace I'll try adn explain it. In the poem it is a dream really..but yet it's very real to me. Reading it over I feel alot of different emotions. But of course being the reader and being the writer is defffert. When I think about it there would be appology in there. Appology and...umm...i don't know..greif even..? it's hard to explain when anybody could read this, and there is more to the story than anybody sees i think. But again, thank you for reading. {~~*~~} "You are not loyal enough to eat my orange jelly beans!...'cuase dat's just how I roll.." |
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Assassin_of_Verse Member
since 2007-10-23
Posts 330that So Cal |
I think I understand a little more. Thanks for explaining. Btw... I think this is how we should comment on posts... How we Really think or feel. There is power in the pen. |
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XxForever.BrokenxX Senior Member
since 2008-01-20
Posts 891Neverland |
I agree completely {~~*~~} I don't know how to spell that word.... "You are not loyal enough to eat my orange jelly beans!...'cuase dat's just how I roll.." |
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Just.Another.Falling.Star Member
since 2008-05-08
Posts 422Canada |
Hey Em...great poem. I felt your feelings for her, and I think I know how you feel a little bit. Have fun on your trip!! ~*Julianna*~ |
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BrittanyJ Member
since 2007-06-03
Posts 461Come find me? |
Wow, this is deffinantly one of my favorites by you...i agree that it is one of your best. There was a lot of emotion behind this and i believe that's what makes poems so great. Nice job If you love someone, let them go. If they come back, they were always yours. If they don't, they never were. |
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shattered-smiles Member
since 2008-01-20
Posts 247inside the shadows |
Thanx Em, I love it. You have to forgive yourself though, I even forgive you. Please let it go, it's hurting both of us to see each other struggle. Love you. TJ So cut me into pieces and tape me into something beautiful... |
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PoetsPlay Member
since 2007-12-22
Posts 56California |
There was a lot of emotion put in this, but I don't think you really checked over the grammar-there were a few errors. All said, it was still pretty good! Alexandra |
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