The drunkmans lullabye. - pipTalk Forums

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Teen Poetry #8

The drunkmans lullabye.

Falling rain

Member Elite

since 2008-01-31

Posts 2178
Small town, Illinois

0 posted 2008-07-04 07:06 PM

You see the mask and say that everything was fine
But can't you see, he stick to his box of wine.

You can't see past his empty glass
His hateful words you just don't seem to pass.

Holding on to the hate of what happens when he drinks.
But let me tell ya something, He's not himself then what you think.

He hides the pain the lurks down, deep inside.
Convince him he's a bad father. He'll want to crawl underneith a rock just to hide.

Looks aren't what they seem.
He might look just as bad, but he isn't that guy who is mean.

(I took pity on my father and tried to figure out what the brighter side of the situation look like.. if that makes any sence. So far i don't like this poem at all....Enjoy?)

~Zach~

"And so the lion fell in love with the lamb....,"he murmured. "What a stupid lamb," I sighed. "What a sick, masochistic lion."

Tripp'ncutie
Member

since 2008-05-05

Posts 73
minnasota

1 posted 2008-07-04 07:11 PM

oh zach your poem is just fine, and yes seeing the brighter side of things does make sense. i get the poem, it has a point and its clear. which all of those qualities are awsome, so its a fine poem.

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