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HersheyKiss
Member

since 2008-06-02

Posts 137
New Jersey

0 posted 2008-06-09 08:52 PM

i need a title: just made this up last night while laying in bed thinking

Kick, Kick.
Beating, Beating.
Look around someone’s bleeding.

Hit, Hit. Punch, Punch.
Look around, someone’s
hunched over and crying.
Look what you did. Someone’s dieing.

Hug, Hug. Kiss, Kiss.
You look in there eye’s.
You say your sorry.
You apologize.

Puff, Puff. Sniff, Sniff
Getting high, getting quick.
Burp, Burp. Slur, Slur.
You got drunk, don’t get near her.

Yell, Hit, Rape, Rape.
You just made a huge mistake.
Cry, Cry. Tears, Tears.
Look now, she has nightmares.

Pills, Pills. Razor Slash.
She got depressed.
She couldn’t last.
Pump, Pump. Beep, Beep.
Her heart stops.
She stops breathing.

Cry, Cry.
A sad song is playing.
You look around to see all the weeping.
Tears, Tears. Guilt, Guilt.
You made more people hurt.

Siren, Siren. Police cars come,
To take you away for what
You had done.

Cry, Cry. Weep, Weep.
Cause now you’re the one
getting beat.

[This message has been edited by HersheyKiss (06-09-2008 10:33 PM).]

XxForever.BrokenxX
Senior Member

since 2008-01-20

Posts 891
Neverland

1 posted 2008-06-09 11:53 PM

Holy crap. This is the BEST poem you have and will ever write. This is so amazing. It brought tears to my eyes, so much emotion, so much pain. i'm flabbergahsted. that's right, i splet that. Danielle, you are truely an amazing poet. this is with out a doubt going into my library.Don't worry hun, you will survive. I'll always be here to catch you when you fall.

{~~*~~}

{&]ebbing.away.from*my.pain.}}
{~Emily~}

Falling rain

Member Elite

since 2008-01-31

Posts 2178
Small town, Illinois

2 posted 2008-06-10 12:18 PM

Whoa! Amazing!!! I totally agree with Emily on this!!!!! flabbergahsted!!! lol your not the only one able to spell big words!!! lol Get well and if you need anything, email me...

God bless!
~Zach~

"It might be easy to fall for someone but it's also easy to break a heart." - Zach Booker.

Mexican Cutie
Junior Member

since 2008-05-14

Posts 18

3 posted 2008-06-10 02:27 AM

Wow i have to agree with both of dem dis is a really great poem!

Mexican~Cutie

HersheyKiss
Member

since 2008-06-02

Posts 137
New Jersey

4 posted 2008-06-10 07:10 AM

thank you guys

Earl Robertson
Senior Member

since 2008-01-21

Posts 753
BC, Canada

5 posted 2008-06-10 05:26 PM

Again an exelently prosed poem. I'm here.

Sanity is NOT a matter of statistics.
The earth is round, germs cause desease, and God speaks.

I am insane of course BUT STILL!!

HersheyKiss
Member

since 2008-06-02

Posts 137
New Jersey

6 posted 2008-06-10 05:43 PM

thanks I glad you like it. The next week don't expect much writing from me idk when I'll be back

Thanks again
danielle

eternally_singing
Member

since 2007-12-18

Posts 123
PA, United States

7 posted 2008-06-10 06:01 PM

SPECTACULAR!

HersheyKiss
Member

since 2008-06-02

Posts 137
New Jersey

8 posted 2008-06-10 08:11 PM

thanks.

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