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Teen Poetry #8

seldom find.

forever*wishing
Member

since 2006-05-29

Posts 178
where my heart is

0 posted 2006-10-24 02:30 PM

Only few ever truly know,
one who will let everything go,
to save you from a terrible fate,
then and now, because it wont wait.
the chance to turn you around,
so you wont fall and hit the ground,
even if it means they will crash harder,
to them, in their minds that way is much better.
the fact that you are safe is all they care,
even though their lives might form a tear.
all that matters is that your alright,
that evil and harm is out of your sight.

seldom do any ever find the one,
the person that will never run,
from something that could hurt,
they will fight for you in dust and dirt,
until its defeated and you can sleep,
even though they're in the dark of the deep.
the one that will endure a bloody hit,
for you they would take a bullet,
but this day, i have found the one,
the person that will give until he has none.
the one that would rather die in aganizing pain,
than have me fall down, or walk astray.

seldom do any ever find the one,
but today, MY search is done.

~me

rhia_5779
Senior Member

since 2006-06-09

Posts 1334
California

1 posted 2006-10-24 04:23 PM

very good. too many comas though.

forever*wishing
Member

since 2006-05-29

Posts 178
where my heart is

2 posted 2006-10-24 04:51 PM

i think its commas...but ya...i do that alot...ha ha

hunnie_girl

Member Elite

since 2006-06-18

Posts 2567
Canada

3 posted 2006-10-24 08:27 PM

the one that will endure a bloody hit,
for you they would take a bullet,
but this day, i have found the one,
the person that will give until he has none.

beautiful, my favorite part.
hunnie*

A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war and a time for peace ~Ecclesiastes 3:8~

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