Teen Poetry #8 |
Disaster Of The Deadly |
RevengeIsMine Senior Member
since 2006-07-08
Posts 820Australia |
Broken tears are forming, in her sorrow stained eyes She’s just another fallen angel hiding in disguise She’s tired and she’s bleeding, she’s done with this war She’s sick of being used, she can’t take it anymore There are a million people waiting, for her to fall at their feet Waiting for the moment in which she admits defeat Will she stand amongst this darkness or get lost amongst the pain Because every single inch of her is slowly going insane She stands for a minute then falls to the ground It’s so hard to scream out when it hurts to make a sound Do you know how much it hurts to cry a million tears? Wake up and face reality, live with all your fears. You’re no good for me and I’m so god dammed sick of crying You do nothing but cause me pain, and make me wish that I was dying It’ll all be better in time, and I know its gunna hurt But I can’t keep letting you treat me like dirt. So take these broken tears as I fall at your feet I’m just a fallen angel, that’s ready to admit defeat |
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Gurl_unknown_11 Junior Member
since 2008-02-10
Posts 17california |
whoa this poem is awesome, i love how it rymes without being forced! ITS AWESOME!! |
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Romantic Junior Member
since 2007-12-10
Posts 28Lost in the eyes of the one i love |
This is a very good write it flows very well Love... it is the best feeling in the world... but beware.. the path to happyness can hurt alot |
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Falling rain
since 2008-01-31
Posts 2178Small town, Illinois |
Ha! see Jess. I told you it would go all right if you kept it as it is.. This is amazing Jess. I just wish i had the same talent as you. ~Zach~ |
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wisdomofthesword Member
since 2007-12-17
Posts 224the last place on earth |
amazing write, love your work I don't care if you think I'm a fool but don't ever tell me so |
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RevengeIsMine Senior Member
since 2006-07-08
Posts 820Australia |
aww thanks guys.. You have talent zach... stop pretending u don't.... |
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shattered-smiles Member
since 2008-01-20
Posts 247inside the shadows |
Jess, this is really good. It flows amazingly well and has awesome rhyming. Keep up the work! TJ So cut me into pieces and tape me into something beautiful... |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
"She stands for a minute then falls to the ground It’s so hard to scream out when it hurts to make a sound Do you know how much it hurts to cry a million tears? Wake up and face reality, live with all your fears." yes, I know how much it hurts to cry a million tears.... I loved this, I read it last night but it made me cry. I recently lost my dad and understand these feelings, but in a different direction...the part I quoted especially. That hit my heart a little too hard last night. The flow is great and the rhythm of your words is perfect. |
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XxForever.BrokenxX Senior Member
since 2008-01-20
Posts 891Neverland |
Absolutly amazing poem. I really don't know how you can make everything flow so beautifly...it's almost insanity. Fantastically writen, and of course to my library it goes. {&]ebbing.away.from*my.pain.}} |
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RenaissanceRomanceRunsRed Senior Member
since 2007-06-11
Posts 1062In Love <3 |
you know, i haven't had the time or engergy latly to read you- and you're like one of my favorites, i'm so glad i got back my energy, b/c i loved this immensly. -Kate headed for my library I live in a Bella world. only everyone is blindingly human . . . |
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Earl Robertson Senior Member
since 2008-01-21
Posts 753BC, Canada |
This was AMAZING!!! Library definatly! "We all lead such elaborate lives, We don't know who's words are true." Aida |
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