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Teen Poetry #8
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RevengeIsMine
Senior Member
since 2006-07-08
Posts 820
Australia

0 posted 2008-05-18 12:27 PM



Broken tears are forming, in her sorrow stained eyes
She’s just another fallen angel hiding in disguise
She’s tired and she’s bleeding, she’s done with this war
She’s sick of being used, she can’t take it anymore

There are a million people waiting, for her to fall at their feet
Waiting for the moment in which she admits defeat
Will she stand amongst this darkness or get lost amongst the pain
Because every single inch of her is slowly going insane

She stands for a minute then falls to the ground
It’s so hard to scream out when it hurts to make a sound
Do you know how much it hurts to cry a million tears?
Wake up and face reality, live with all your fears.

You’re no good for me and I’m so god dammed sick of crying
You do nothing but cause me pain, and make me wish that I was dying
It’ll all be better in time, and I know its gunna hurt
But I can’t keep letting you treat me like dirt.

So take these broken tears as I fall at your feet
I’m just a fallen angel, that’s ready to admit defeat

© Copyright 2008 A Typical Aussie Chick - All Rights Reserved
Gurl_unknown_11
Junior Member
since 2008-02-10
Posts 17
california
1 posted 2008-05-18 01:06 AM


whoa this poem is awesome, i love how it rymes without being forced!  
ITS AWESOME!!


Romantic
Junior Member
since 2007-12-10
Posts 28
Lost in the eyes of the one i love
2 posted 2008-05-18 02:06 AM


This is a very good write it flows very well

Love... it is the best feeling in the world... but beware.. the path to happyness can hurt alot

Falling rain
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2008-01-31
Posts 2178
Small town, Illinois
3 posted 2008-05-18 02:14 AM


Ha! see Jess. I told you it would go all right if you kept it as it is.. This is amazing Jess. I just wish i had the same talent as you.

~Zach~

"Fate leads the willing, and drags along the reluctant."

wisdomofthesword
Member
since 2007-12-17
Posts 224
the last place on earth
4 posted 2008-05-18 02:25 AM


amazing write, love your work

I don't care if you think I'm a fool but don't ever tell me so

RevengeIsMine
Senior Member
since 2006-07-08
Posts 820
Australia
5 posted 2008-05-18 02:52 AM


aww thanks guys..
You have talent zach... stop pretending u don't....


shattered-smiles
Member
since 2008-01-20
Posts 247
inside the shadows
6 posted 2008-05-18 09:27 AM


Jess, this is really good.  It flows amazingly well and has awesome rhyming.  Keep up the work!

TJ

So cut me into pieces and tape me into something beautiful...

SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
7 posted 2008-05-18 10:53 AM


"She stands for a minute then falls to the ground
It’s so hard to scream out when it hurts to make a sound
Do you know how much it hurts to cry a million tears?
Wake up and face reality, live with all your fears."

yes, I know how much it hurts to cry a million tears....

I loved this, I read it last night but it made me cry. I recently lost my dad and understand these feelings, but in a different direction...the part I quoted especially. That hit my heart a little too hard last night.

The flow is great and the rhythm of your words is perfect.

XxForever.BrokenxX
Senior Member
since 2008-01-20
Posts 891
Neverland
8 posted 2008-05-18 01:54 PM


Absolutly amazing poem. I really don't know how you can make everything flow so beautifly...it's almost insanity. Fantastically writen, and of course to my library it goes.

{&]ebbing.away.from*my.pain.}}
{~Emily~}

RenaissanceRomanceRunsRed
Senior Member
since 2007-06-11
Posts 1062
In Love <3
9 posted 2008-05-18 07:48 PM


you know, i haven't had the time or engergy latly to read you- and you're like one of my favorites, i'm so glad i got back my energy, b/c i loved this immensly.

-Kate

headed for my library

I live in a Bella world. only everyone is blindingly human . . .

Earl Robertson
Senior Member
since 2008-01-21
Posts 753
BC, Canada
10 posted 2008-05-18 09:34 PM


This was AMAZING!!! Library definatly!

"We all lead such elaborate lives, We don't know who's words are true." Aida

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