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Teen Poetry #8
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MBA thing
| Teen Poetry #8 |
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MBA thing |
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Xeonox
since 2000-04-01
Posts 1764CA, USA 
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Listen for a minute, I met this girl in school, She is about 5’2, Head to toe beautiful, I am starting to catch some feelings, But I have been there before, I don’t want to rush this, The pain from last time, I don’t want anymore, She has her cute things, that make me smile, It makes me happy, as if I was a little child, Like when we are talking on the phone, Late at night, reminiscing about the day and all our wishes, She often says I make things complicated, I argue with her, just to picture her getting irritated, But all in all I enjoy spending time wit her, Whether she is the one or not, For now, I’ll continue seeing her. I speak insanity. I write fantasy. I sleep reality. |
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| © Copyright 2006 Ronil B Tataria - All Rights Reserved | |||
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patience_iago Member
since 2006-08-30
Posts 54 |
I liked this all, except for the last line, it felt completley out of place to me. "There are some days where i believe i might die of an overdose of satisfaction" |
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hunnie_girl
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567Canada |
yea the last line did sound kind of out of place but i thought the whole poem was nicely written and very happy sounding... hunnie*  A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war and a time for peace ~Ecclesiastes 3:8~ |
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PoetrySinger Member
since 2006-10-16
Posts 54 |
like hunnie said the last line did sound out of place but I hope u get your chance to feel loves grace |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
Well, I kind of didn't like this one as well as some of your other poems. It does sound like your happy in this poem and I like how the reader is able to get that from your words. The last line? I actually kind of liked the idea of it. It's almost, for me, saying that I'll continue on with you but if you turn out like the others I'm walking, if that makes sense? Thanks for sharing this piece, it's always enjoyable to read your work "I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars." - Og Mandino @-->--- |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
Umm, sorry, one last thought, what is an MBA thing? Am I missing something, cause I'm rather dense? "I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars." - Og Mandino @-->--- |
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rhia_5779 Senior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 1334California |
Isn't MBA , mens basketball association?? |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
Possible idea rhia but I was thinking a title should have more to do with the poem, so I thought maybe "MBA" could mean something more? "I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars." - Og Mandino @-->--- |
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Xeonox
since 2000-04-01
Posts 1764CA, USA |
Hint: MBA could mean a post graduate degree???? I speak insanity. I write fantasy. I sleep reality. |
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buttercupbaby Member
since 2006-05-03
Posts 400outside in the rain |
i don't like this as much as your other poems either...but i can tell you wrote this and you were happy! its really a cute poem..im a little bit confused on the "MBA" thing too...i admit when i clicked to read it i thought it was gonna be a poem about basketball! ha...nice write anyway=] |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
That makes more sense because you said in the poem you met her at school. MBA = Masters of Business Administration? Well, it does even if your "MBA" doesn't "I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars." - Og Mandino @-->--- |
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