»
Archives
»
Teen Poetry #8
»
The Song's You Sing
| Teen Poetry #8 |
|
The Song's You Sing |
|
|
Just.Another.Falling.Star Member
since 2008-05-08
Posts 422Canada 
|
The Song’s You Sing Words flow from your delicate lips, Rhyming in harmony with my heartbeat. The song’s you sing are mine forever. Melodies escape from your rugged vocal chords, Matching my thoughts with each beat. The song’s you sing are mine forever. ~*Julianna*~ |
||
| © Copyright 2008 Julianna - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
Hi Just.Another.Falling.Star, What a beautiful poem, I am ecstatic to be able to read it! I love the idea of being able to hear someone "sing" and have it belong to you forever, to call it yours. I hadn't thought about it before. Very well done. I am a little lost by this line, "Melodies escape from your rugged vocal chords", to me the use of "rugged vocal chords" is offbeat with the rest of the poem, I felt it didn't match the serenity and beauty of the word melodies. I do know of many artists whose voices could be described as. "rugged", (and their very good) but when I read it, it doesn't sound as well. Perhaps this is just me but it is a thought for your consideration. Anyway, I enjoyed reading this poem greatly and I am looking forward to diving into the forum and coming up with more of your poems. Best of luck to you! |
||
|
Just.Another.Falling.Star Member
since 2008-05-08
Posts 422Canada |
Thanks for your review! I'm always glad to hear when someone likes what I write. And when I say rugged, I'm mixing the way his voice is and how his looks are tying into it. It can be confusing, but isn't that what poetry is? A mystery waiting to be solved, but sometimes not needing to be looked over at all. ~*Julianna*~ |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
