Free-Falling From Reality, You Watched Her Die Tonight...

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RevengeIsMine
Senior Member

since 2006-07-08

Posts 820
Australia

0 posted 2008-04-24 06:27 AM

Okay guys well i guess this is another piece of my rusty talent appearing.. let me know what you think...

_______________________________________________________

Free-Falling From Reality, You Watched Her Die Tonight....

Would you climb a mountain, to make her come back home
Would you catch a million stars to stop her from being alone
Would you search a million miles to see a smile on her face
But nothing you can say or do will make up for her disgrace

Her disgrace is like no other, he’s tall, blue eyed and blonde
She and him share something special, a death defying bond
Tonight he crossed the line, the difference between what’s right
The good the bad the ugly, won’t be forgiven here tonight

She’s propped against the door way, her hands upon her head
There’s blood running from her mouth, her disgrace upon her bed
There’s no confusion in the darkness, no clarity beyond this storm
This is not a dream; her clothes are tattered and torn

She’s trapped inside her own prison, there’s nobody about
She can’t live like this any longer; somebody’s got to get her out
Free falling from reality, she’s bleeding more and more
She takes her final breathe she can’t live with him anymore

You’ve watched her cry a river, full of deadly tears
You’ve watched her run for miles, trying to hide from her fears
You’ve seen her struggles come and go, seen the scars upon her heart
But you weren’t there to save her, the night she fell apart.

[This message has been edited by RevengeIsMine (04-24-2008 10:35 PM).]

Falling rain

Member Elite

since 2008-01-31

Posts 2178
Small town, Illinois

1 posted 2008-04-24 04:48 PM

Wow.. this is.. this is.. undiscribeable.. Its amazing and shocking all at once.. The word i'll use to discribe this poem will be.. Stupify.. yes thats the word... But i think you made a slight mistake.

"seen the scars upon heart" i tihnk it should be

"seen the scars upon her heart" Just a little thing to think about. but once again this poem left me stupified and amazed.

Great work Jess!!

~Zach~

wisdomofthesword
Member

since 2007-12-17

Posts 224
the last place on earth

2 posted 2008-04-24 05:03 PM

this was amazing

I don't care if you think I'm a fool but don't ever tell me so

crimsonXnails
Member

since 2008-02-10

Posts 108
dark/little/heavan.:*:.

3 posted 2008-04-24 05:23 PM

WOW!!!!!!!!! Absolutly BREATH TAKING!!! That is most deffinatly my mostest favorite poem ever:0 amazing! don't be so modest, you have wonderful talent

!Tracey!

if you can touch me, i know i'm still only dying

XxForever.BrokenxX
Senior Member

since 2008-01-20

Posts 891
Neverland

4 posted 2008-04-24 05:46 PM

Another amazing poem from you. I always look forward to reading them. Love you hun!

{~~*~~}

{&}Love*liesOfBeauty~[NowColdInMyHand]
{`~Emily~`}

hunnie_girl

Member Elite

since 2006-06-18

Posts 2567
Canada

5 posted 2008-04-24 08:31 PM

Wow Jess sweetie I love this it was like such a great poem I love the way it flows and rolls through my mind

Krysti

Earl Robertson
Senior Member

since 2008-01-21

Posts 753
BC, Canada

6 posted 2008-04-24 09:34 PM

I am literaly speechless library!!

I prefer noon to twilight, but tis a fine line I walk.

RevengeIsMine
Senior Member

since 2006-07-08

Posts 820
Australia

7 posted 2008-04-24 10:34 PM

OMG i never expected comments like these.. you guys have shocked me... thankyou so so much.. and Zach was right it is supposed to read her..
Omg thanks again...
luv Jess xoxo

ShawtySheFly
Member

since 2007-12-19

Posts 71
In his Elevator (LOL)

8 posted 2008-04-25 04:16 PM

Phenomal!!!! dude this is like......ch so good i can't even think of the word

I.>ROCK"my<Converse^cuz%i'm`RETRO*likeDAT

rebel~angel
Member

since 2006-06-20

Posts 71
Iowa USA

9 posted 2008-05-09 09:54 PM

that was...wonderful.......indescribable....

Remember:Tuck your chin, you're going to get hurt, so expect it and be ready. You might as well see it coming.
-Elizabeth Haydon, Requiem for the Sun

Tripp'ncutie
Member

since 2008-05-05

Posts 73
minnasota

10 posted 2008-05-09 10:23 PM

hunny ur lines are too long, but i love the poem it self. great work.

XxForever.BrokenxX
Senior Member

since 2008-01-20

Posts 891
Neverland

11 posted 2008-05-09 11:09 PM

I was reading this (for the second time) and at first i didnt realize that i had already read it but still, i think it's even better the second time....Amazing.

{~~*~~}

{&]ebbing.away.from*my.pain.}}
{~Emily~}

eternally_singing
Member

since 2007-12-18

Posts 123
PA, United States

12 posted 2008-05-09 11:42 PM

Utterly spectacular

At night a candle's brighter than the sun

wisdomofthesword
Member

since 2007-12-17

Posts 224
the last place on earth

13 posted 2008-05-10 01:27 AM

I just read this for the second time to with out relising i'd read it before but it's still amazing and in no way rusty

I don't care if you think I'm a fool but don't ever tell me so

hiddensmiles
Senior Member

since 2008-02-07

Posts 514
at the beach... i wish

14 posted 2008-05-10 12:07 PM

wow good job!!!

JJ

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