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prettypinkrebel
Member

since 2007-11-07

Posts 104

0 posted 2008-04-14 10:39 PM

tonight a final thought
only one more emotion
a young girl left alone
he leaves her there quietly unspoken
she is shaking with fear & extremely cold
this seems like its over and goodbye is told
tonight a little girl lays cryig in her bed
this certain little girl wishing she was dead
laying lone in her room heartbroken and confused
wondering what more she has to lose
she's lost her love her life herself
she feels all is lost and she cant survive
she needs someone there to hold her and not let go
to lay ther and comfort her while she's so low
tonight a young girl will choose to let go
should she let anyone know?
Tonight a final thought one more emotion
a young girl left alone
she's surrounded by fear & exteremly cold
suddenly her life is over goodbye untold.....

hey itz been a while tell me what ya think...

Life is normally a broken road....so look ahead for the cracks!

Falling rain

Member Elite

since 2008-01-31

Posts 2178
Small town, Illinois

1 posted 2008-04-15 09:59 AM

Nice poem!!.. but im not sure if you put this in the right fourme. I think this poem might go better in dark poetry but its just a thought.

This really is a great poem.

I can't wait to see more of your work!

Havea great day!!

~Zach~

wisdomofthesword
Member

since 2007-12-17

Posts 224
the last place on earth

2 posted 2008-04-15 04:56 PM

great poem look forward to reading more

I don't care if you think I'm a fool but don't ever tell me so

XxForever.BrokenxX
Senior Member

since 2008-01-20

Posts 891
Neverland

3 posted 2008-04-15 05:06 PM

I really liked it. The flow was diffeent but it made sense. Great poem,

{~~*~~}

{&}Love*liesOfBeauty~[NowColdInMyHand]
{`~Emily~`}

hiddensmiles
Senior Member

since 2008-02-07

Posts 514
at the beach... i wish

4 posted 2008-04-15 06:07 PM

NiCe write! welcome to passions and hopeing to read more!

JJ

justanotherstorm
Member

since 2007-10-24

Posts 321

5 posted 2008-04-16 12:50 PM

wow thats awesome

rebelangelv
Senior Member

since 2007-05-28

Posts 538
usa

6 posted 2008-04-16 12:52 PM

omg that was awsome. it almost sounded like a song to me. n e ways great job

only a vampire can love you forever.
forbidden to remember, terrified to forget

prettypinkrebel
Member

since 2007-11-07

Posts 104

7 posted 2008-04-16 08:09 PM

thanks everyone!!

Life is normally a broken road....so look ahead for the cracks!

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