Teen Poetry #8 |
Fragments Of A Blood Stained Bullet ( My Duet With The Amazing FallingRain) |
RevengeIsMine Senior Member
since 2006-07-08
Posts 820Australia |
Hey Guys, Well i think this maybe the first time this has been done around here in a very long time.. Falling Rain and I were mucking around on MSN the other day and decided to write a DUET.. The task was to write a lineeach and take turns creating a masterpiece. Anyway a few hours later and a bit of tweaking we came out with this lovely piece of talent.. So i'd like too say a huge THANKYOU to Zach (FallingRain) for being an amazing writer and who at 15 has some amazing talent and i'm sure heis going to change the world one day with his work anyway here we go..... _______________________________________________________ Fragments Of A Blood Stained Bullet Have you ever felt as though you’re falling from a sky full of hate? Like you’re dropping through the waters dragged down by your own weight Your breathe is slowly leaking, you emotions are getting lost You’re drifting from reality, and you’ll pay at a cost You’ve lost grip of the truth, you’ve let it float away Your soul is drifting in the tides, but you keep it at bay This isn’t what you wanted, this isn’t what you need Don’t try explaining what you’ve done; you’re an evil seed You stare up at the clouds, being like you are It’s then that you realize that this has all gone too far There’s blood on your hands, its cold and it’s wet You scream in fear, you scrub it away like the sunset You know exactly how it got there; after all it’s your own You can run all you like, but you’ll never be alone |
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© Copyright 2008 A Typical Aussie Chick - All Rights Reserved | |||
Falling rain
since 2008-01-31
Posts 2178Small town, Illinois |
WOOHOO!! we soo rocked this poem!! lol But this poem would of been nothing without the amazing talent of the one, the only, Jess!! =]] Your friend, ~Zach~ |
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shattered-smiles Member
since 2008-01-20
Posts 247inside the shadows |
Haha, very nice one guys! I love this duet! Good teamwork! TJ So cut me into pieces and tape me into something beautiful... |
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Ri Member
since 2008-02-01
Posts 67Blackburn, England |
This is great, it's always good to work with other people, because you pick up new styles and skills and you become a better poet. But it can be hard within a poem with two different styles, it could be disjointed, yet this worked perfectly |
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Earl Robertson Senior Member
since 2008-01-21
Posts 753BC, Canada |
Beautiful! Absolutly Beutiful!! (Now I want to try a duet...hmmmmm) "Be Strong and Always Remember what made you you." Earl |
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Jaki H Member
since 2008-01-19
Posts 232NJ, USA |
oh wow! i am both stunned and amazed that you two could pull of such a good poem working together! props to you! i know if i ever tried to write a poem with someone id probobly rip out my hair over stress. the poem would probobly make no sense... cant believe you could make such a good poem without wanting to attack one another! great job! |
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Falling rain
since 2008-01-31
Posts 2178Small town, Illinois |
haha oh just because we had a nice poem here doesn't mean we didn't have our disagreements ever few moments lol. When we got to the end of the poem wewere sort of debating on either continueing on it or just leave it as it is. but we just left it considering it was good enough. Then we had the chouis of chooseing a title. we came up with 3 different titles. And we choosed the one that sounded best. and thanks everyone for reading out poem. lol =] ~Zach~ |
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XxForever.BrokenxX Senior Member
since 2008-01-20
Posts 891Neverland |
very nice, i don't think i'd be able to write a poem with someone like that. fantastic. {&}Love*liesOfBeauty~[NowColdInMyHand] |
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hunnie_girl
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567Canada |
Wow A duet!!! I havent written one in soo long!!! haha and actually neither has anyone great to have you two break the... whats that word haha well you know what i mean Great poem Krysti |
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RevengeIsMine Senior Member
since 2006-07-08
Posts 820Australia |
Thanks so much guys.. yeah it worked really well.. we both still have our hair and our ears lol.. It's not as difficult as it looks when you have an amazing partner and thanks again guys.. |
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hiddensmiles Senior Member
since 2008-02-07
Posts 514at the beach... i wish |
great poem! JJ |
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surf_painter Member
since 2007-04-10
Posts 434Canada |
What a wonderful poem, however there were a few parts that I thought could use an extra word or so just to make the flow better, if you can't spot these places it just means we read differently, Still a great poem you are both wonderful writers |
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