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Teen Poetry #8
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Nobody See's How Hearts Break... ( My Brother's Journey Home)
| Teen Poetry #8 |
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Nobody See's How Hearts Break... ( My Brother's Journey Home) |
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RevengeIsMine Senior Member
since 2006-07-08
Posts 820Australia 
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Tonight a part of me died a little As i broke down and cried My little brother came home tonight After his baby boy had died I found him on our doorstep His hands covered in blood He was shaking from head to toe His tears, they caused a flood I didn’t know what to say I hadn’t seen him in so long I couldn’t help but give him a hug And forget everything he’d done wrong My lil bro left home months ago Mum and dad were worried sick But they still loved him very much Whichever path of life he chose to pick His just a baby himself you know A boy of 15 years old He was my baby brother Who was shivering in the cold His girlfriend you see was pregnant Turns out she had a fall He told me they lost the baby As my back slid down the wall The worst was yet to come A tear was caught in my eye She told him he wasn’t the father And that it’d all been a lie She told him she never loved him That he’d be better off dead When he refused to leave She whacked him in the head It’ll be okay little brother I whisper in his ear He tries to fake a smile But it was soon replaced by a tear He’s broken hearted and he’s bleeding But he has been here before It’s just another fragmented affliction That he’s suffered from this war We sat there for a while I promised him it’d be okay He rested his head on my shoulder As i found the right words to say “It’s okay to be sad Because I’ll pick you up I’ll bend your rules And I’ll be your heart I’ll bring you round When you fall asleep And I’ll break your fall When you fall at my feet” Nobody knows just how it will feel today Nobody knows the right things to say Nobody knows how much time the healing will take Because nobody see's how hearts break |
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Newman New Member
since 2008-04-10
Posts 5 |
very say and hard hitting. very strong. |
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hiddensmiles Senior Member
since 2008-02-07
Posts 514at the beach... i wish |
yes i agree very sad, strong and hard hitting, Great! JJ |
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hunnie_girl
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567Canada |
ohhh Jess.. such a sad and meaningful poem.. love it. Krysti |
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wisdomofthesword Member
since 2007-12-17
Posts 224the last place on earth |
really sad but great poem I don't care if you think I'm a fool but don't ever tell me so |
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RevengeIsMine Senior Member
since 2006-07-08
Posts 820Australia |
Thankyou guys.. Comments are very much appreciated. |
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XxForever.BrokenxX Senior Member
since 2008-01-20
Posts 891Neverland |
Love the poem. I hope everything's okay, or will be in time. {~~*~~} {&}Love*liesOfBeauty~[NowColdInMyHand] |
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Falling rain
since 2008-01-31
Posts 2178Small town, Illinois |
im gunna be honest with ya' im not one to cry that easily and yet i still did. i've had this happen to my older bro not exactly like your poem went. *my brother didn't get hit on the head* But it happened the same way. she said she loved him but didn't they were really close. one night she told the truth and he came home that night in tears. it was really sad and i had to comfort him since my parents might blow the whole situation out of proportion. So iwas left there with him holding and helping him... this was really dramatic for me cuz i was 10 at the time he was 17... I know i shouldn't be telling you all this cuz its not that importent but it feels good to get that all out in the open... But this poem really is good and emotional.. i like it yet i don't want to remember what happened that night.. you know what i mean? ~Zach~ |
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Jaki H Member
since 2008-01-19
Posts 232NJ, USA |
oh wow! thats so sad!!!! really good as always! there was one part that was kind of different from the rest but i dont think it was different in a bad way so its ok... anyhoo really nice poem! |
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masksrlife Member
since 2008-03-26
Posts 109Canada |
WOW! this poem is so strong and like JJ so hard hitting i loved it. It was so sad Very good. *-crazycece-* |
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surf_painter Member
since 2007-04-10
Posts 434Canada |
such a mournful poem, so tragic and sad. for some constructive critism though.. some lines didn't seem to work as others did |
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