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StolenDreams
Junior Member

since 2008-01-22

Posts 11
Virginia, USA

0 posted 2008-03-28 12:31 PM

When I'm gone tell me will you miss me;
Will you notice that there will never be;
A chance to say that fated goodbye;
That every "I love you" you met with a sigh;
Was meant as an I'll always be there;
And I just thought it would be fair;
If in response to your first hello;
I changed my answer to "yea well i gotta go";
Instead of falling almost 1000 miles;
And landing so hard on these bloody bathroom tiles;

Well if you're willing to walk out;
And forget completely about;
All those times you let out a smile;
All those times that i strangely have on file;
So i can remember at a moments notice;
Just so i can get away and lose this;
Utter feeling of lonely and loss;
Im that rolling stone for you that never gained moss;
I was just never good enough for you;
In everything i ever did or wanted to do;

You left today without a single word;
You flew out my window like a free bird;
With no intention of coming back;
Hoping that of every trace i'd lose track;
Hoping I'd give up and never come to my senses;
Get tired of searching and jumping these fences;
All for a girl who never felt the same;
Stuck in this sick and stupid game;
I wonder if it was that you didnt know what to say;
Or if you just woke up and said "Today's the day";

The second you left i thought to myself;
"Ya know i know theres a gun on my 2nd shelf";
I grabbed it and pulled but all i got was a click;
Then i thought i can't believe i almost gave up over a chick;
I dropped it and out the door i started to run;
To try and get as far away as i could from the gun;
The one that almost forced my mom to ask;
One final and meaningless task;
Of my friends who used me like i was a pawn;
She'd ask them, "Do you miss now that he's Gone?"

Assassin_of_Verse
Member

since 2007-10-23

Posts 330
that So Cal

1 posted 2008-03-28 12:43 PM

Although it says you've been a member since January, I haven't seen you around. Allow me to belatedly (if that's a word) welcome you to Passions...

WELCOME TO PASSIONS!!!
Anyway, nice poem. I saw your comment on Hunni's poem and I kept it in mind when I read yours. At first, the rhymes seemed forced, but I noticed a nice rythym I was reading to. Very emotional and very strong.
Thanks for posting!
-Andrew

Dawn gives birth to a new day.
Dusk lays it to rest.

rebel~angel
Member

since 2006-06-20

Posts 71
Iowa USA

2 posted 2008-03-28 01:17 AM

jesse, this was amazing, just like all the rest. And even more so, because i know there's true feeling behind it. Some poems, you read them and you know its just something someone wrote...but this one has meaning, and purpose. And i know that someday you will find that girl who feels the same about you. Just keep looking, and don't lose hope...

Becca

Remember:Tuck your chin, you're going to get hurt, so expect it and be ready. You might as well see it coming.
-Elizabeth Haydon, Requiem for the Sun

shattered-smiles
Member

since 2008-01-20

Posts 247
inside the shadows

3 posted 2008-03-28 08:37 AM

Such a good poem you have here Jesse. Full of emotion and it has a great rythym. I've never seen you before on PIP. Keep on writing, you're an awesome poet.

TJ

So cut me into pieces and tape me into something beautiful...

rebelangelv
Senior Member

since 2007-05-28

Posts 538
usa

4 posted 2008-03-28 04:44 PM

dannnng that was good. i love it

only a vampire can love you forever.
forbidden to remember, terrified to forget

hunnie_girl

Member Elite

since 2006-06-18

Posts 2567
Canada

5 posted 2008-03-29 04:29 AM

If in response to your first hello;
I changed my answer to "yea well i gotta go"

wow Jesse absolutley amazing.. I loved those lines it was like.. i really understand them they just seemed to pop out at me the most. Great write
Krysti

hiddensmiles
Senior Member

since 2008-02-07

Posts 514
at the beach... i wish

6 posted 2008-03-29 03:44 PM

really great write

JJ

xbrokenxlullabyx
Junior Member

since 2007-12-25

Posts 36
NJ, U.S.A.

7 posted 2008-03-29 08:35 PM

Hoping I'd give up and never come to my senses;

that line really sticks to me. sometimes when you're in love, falling out of love, think you're in love irrationality is a blessing. I know altely i hate thinking sensibly. this line just really works

great write

Susanna V.

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