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hunnie_girl

Member Elite

since 2006-06-18

Posts 2567
Canada

0 posted 2008-03-26 02:46 AM

sometimes I feel like giving up
like i'm just wasting my time
Sometimes I feel like theres nothing
between your heart and mine

maybe its just that we meet
eachothers wants and needs
never finding anything wrong
we're good for eachother indeed

But its not always about lust
you gotta care about eachother too
I just dont see why you weren't here
when I really needed you

I told you at least three times
that I needed your support today
I just dont see how
you managed to forget anyway

sometimes I wonder if im cut out
for thinking I am loved
but at the times it really matters
I feel like Im being shoved

I try to stay happy
nomatter what you do
but im so dam sick and tired
of hurting cos of you!

[This message has been edited by hunnie_girl (03-27-2008 04:11 AM).]

Assassin_of_Verse
Member

since 2007-10-23

Posts 330
that So Cal

1 posted 2008-03-27 05:25 PM

Yay, I'm first to post! But I'm surprised that nobody has commented by now. I like the sound of the following verse:
"sometimes I wonder if im cut out
for thinking I am loved"
I'm not sure I understood your meaning, but it had a nice ring to it. I also felt that most of the ryhme was forced. I'm confident that your poem would have been great without. Thanks for posting!
-Andrew

Dawn gives birth to a new day.
Dusk lays it to rest.

masksrlife
Member

since 2008-03-26

Posts 109
Canada

2 posted 2008-03-27 06:29 PM

hey i love this poem! yeah im suprised nobody has commented on it either! Its so beutifull so much diffrent than my poems and i love it. I love how it flows.

*Celine*

hiddensmiles
Senior Member

since 2008-02-07

Posts 514
at the beach... i wish

3 posted 2008-03-27 11:15 PM

great write!!

Assassin_of_Verse
Member

since 2007-10-23

Posts 330
that So Cal

4 posted 2008-03-28 12:11 PM

Hey Krysti! I finally got around to posting that challenge! Hope you check it out in Discussion!

Dawn gives birth to a new day.
Dusk lays it to rest.

StolenDreams
Junior Member

since 2008-01-22

Posts 11
Virginia, USA

5 posted 2008-03-28 12:36 PM

Well although as assassin pointed out there is forced rhyme i think that it goes rather well with the way you wrote this. I definitely knew how you felt while i was reading it and ultimately felt an emotional connection to your words and as you did for me if you ever need anything or just wanna talk e-mail me.

Jesse

hunnie_girl

Member Elite

since 2006-06-18

Posts 2567
Canada

6 posted 2008-03-29 04:43 AM

ahh Yess Mr. Andrew.. on mi wai... hehe

xbrokenxlullabyx
Junior Member

since 2007-12-25

Posts 36
NJ, U.S.A.

7 posted 2008-03-29 08:47 PM

sometimes I wonder if im cut out
for thinking I am loved

i really like this perspective, it's so true! you have to have stength to endure being loved. it's tough. it's a huge mind game i guess.

anyway great write

Susanna V.

Clockwork_Orange
Senior Member

since 2007-03-23

Posts 620
Space Camp, IN

8 posted 2008-03-29 08:55 PM

hunnie, i liked this alot. just like alot of your work, it blew my mind.

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