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hunnie_girl

Member Elite

since 2006-06-18

Posts 2567
Canada

0 posted 2006-09-06 07:34 PM

the walls are too thin,
too not hear the arguing again,

it's happening more eveyday,
i try so hard to stay away,

maybe i'll leave just for me,
it's so hard staying where i don't want to be,

if i left you'd turn me aside,
and in your mind it's like i died,

the word pills seems comforting to see,
a bottle of sleep sounds good to me,

but suicide has never been a good thought,
i've thought about it a lot, as for death i have not.

A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your
heart.

stargal
Senior Member

since 2006-03-06

Posts 1352
OR USA

1 posted 2006-09-07 08:57 AM

This is my favorite part in the whole poem!!

>>"the walls are too thin,
too not hear the arguing again,
it's happening more eveyday,
i try so hard to stay away,
maybe i'll leave just for me,
it's so hard staying where i don't want to be,
if i left you'd turn me aside,
and in your mind it's like i died,
the word pills seems comforting to see,
a bottle of sleep sounds good to me,
but suicide has never been a good thought,
i've thought about it a lot, as for death i have not." - lol... I loved the whole poem as it is, there is nothing I would change. I think that this is my favorite one, of yours, that I've ever seen! Going in my library...

Thanks for sharing!

"I pray thee, O God, that I
may be beautiful within."
–Socrates
@-->---

pencil&paper
Member

since 2006-09-09

Posts 76
asleep somewhere in my head

2 posted 2006-09-10 04:25 PM

wow... i really liked this poem

as for a favorite part i don't have because i loved the whole thing

hunnie_girl

Member Elite

since 2006-06-18

Posts 2567
Canada

3 posted 2006-09-12 12:19 PM

ohhhhhhhhh tx! stargal and pencil&paper

hunnie*

A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your
heart.

heysexy
New Member

since 2006-09-18

Posts 5
lumby

4 posted 2006-09-21 09:57 PM

i can totally realte to this one

Brittany
Junior Member

since 2006-09-26

Posts 32
Canada

5 posted 2006-09-28 05:21 PM

Wow, I can really relate to this one, it's good. You're awesome and i really cant think of anything i woudl change to make it better.

~Life Ain't Always Beautiful~

rhia_5779
Senior Member

since 2006-06-09

Posts 1334
California

6 posted 2006-09-28 06:00 PM

Now I am going to feel all guilty because now i do have some minor critticsm to this very nicely written poem.

OK,

the walls are too thin,  (like the idea)
too not hear the arguing again, (its to, not too, also nice line)

it's happening more eveyday(.) (what is exactly happening)
i try so hard to stay away(.)

maybe i'll leave just for me,
it's so hard staying where i don't want to be(.) (so why stay?)

if (I) left you'd turn me aside,
and in your mind it's like i died,  (very good couplet.)

the word pills seems comforting to see,(bit of punctuation needed here.)
a bottle of sleep sounds good to me(.) (bottle of sleep, very creative, loved that description)

but suicide has never been a good thought,(yay, then I wouldn't get to read your awesome poems)
i've thought about it a lot, as for death i have not.( it may just be me cause I have a mini bug, but WHAT?? didn't get that last line at all.)

Well written for the most part, but a couple of places need to have the right punctuation. That was  a bit confusing there.

Shake
Junior Member

since 2006-11-17

Posts 40

7 posted 2007-11-12 12:26 PM

Wow... the emotion in this was great!
I can tell you put your heart into this one, I love it! Really I wouldnt change a thing, going to library!

Gods and Demons,
Keys, Lyrics, and Vocals
~Shake

BrittanyJ
Member

since 2007-06-03

Posts 461
Come find me?

8 posted 2007-11-12 08:26 PM

maybe i'll leave just for me,
it's so hard staying where i don't want to be,

Ahh, hunnie...always have loved your work

Another wonderful poem, you blow me away!!!

So no more hiding all your pain, you deserve a new start. That's why i'm closing myself away, this is a message from your heart.

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis

since 2007-09-16

Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural

9 posted 2007-11-12 10:23 PM

Enjoyed

ARCTIC WIND

fromme2U
Member

since 2007-11-09

Posts 257

10 posted 2007-11-13 05:42 PM

wow this was nice!

charlie18
New Member

since 2007-11-14

Posts 8
Washington, United States

11 posted 2007-11-14 12:22 PM

this was really nice.
your a great poet.
i hope things are going better now.

hunnie_girl

Member Elite

since 2006-06-18

Posts 2567
Canada

12 posted 2007-11-14 01:45 AM

wow.. umm better now fore sure i never expected to see this poem on the front pages again:P this is one of my oldies

thank you all for replying
Krysti

comoloco7
Junior Member

since 2007-09-21

Posts 31
MA

13 posted 2007-11-14 06:15 AM

This poem shows pain and hope all wrapped up in a neat package. Keep it up. Its always nice to read your work.

In the blood soaked battle field, bleach the bones of countless millions who in the midst of victory stopped to rest, and resting they died.

KandyGrl511
Member

since 2008-11-30

Posts 52
Michigan

14 posted 2008-12-02 07:26 PM

i loved the poem oh so very much!?!?!

hunnie_girl

Member Elite

since 2006-06-18

Posts 2567
Canada

15 posted 2008-12-02 11:45 PM

uh oh an old post lol totally 4got bout this one

Falling rain

Member Elite

since 2008-01-31

Posts 2178
Small town, Illinois

16 posted 2008-12-04 04:41 PM

lol. But Krysti!!... I love your oldie moldy poems

.. lol.. This poem is really good. I just hoped that people who struggle with this realize that suicide isn't a good answer. Great write!

-Zach

I'D RATHER BE ANYTHING BUT ORDINARY!!!! XP

tearsoflove13762
Member

since 2004-09-05

Posts 488
Texas.. and yes i have an accent

17 posted 2008-12-06 03:23 AM

wow hunnie i love it! i havent been on here in forever and this is my first poem to read tonight so thanks for the great 'welcome back'

aol sn- sweetcountry007

TrueDesire12
Junior Member

since 2008-12-07

Posts 11
England

18 posted 2008-12-09 03:51 PM

Wow i really like this one!
so meaninful

and thx for the comment on my poem!

TrueDesire
xx

Abbeon
Member

since 2006-11-30

Posts 228
Curiousity, and wonder

19 posted 2009-01-12 04:13 AM

maybe i'll leave just for me,
it's so hard staying where i don't want to be

Hunnie why do you always take my words from my heart and show them to me. Your right. I am going to leave. I am going somewhere i want to be.

With love Rebecca-Jade

wwzwlmd8
Member

since 2006-09-23

Posts 96
San Diego,CA

20 posted 2009-01-12 05:26 PM

THIS IS MY FAV. PART

but suicide has never been a good thought,
i've thought about it a lot, as for death i have not.

~Indya

LittleWillow
Member

since 2007-12-27

Posts 54

21 posted 2009-06-11 12:52 PM

Brilliant!
Not much else to say!
x

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