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Teen Poetry #8

Vibrations

Elias Nevermore
Member

since 2007-11-03

Posts 152

0 posted 2008-03-14 05:56 PM

Echoes of silence reflect
Off the gray pavement.
A reflection of what
Life has become.

Thunder roars across
the concrete jungle.
Stampedes fall down
Upon my head.

I feel life screaming out
in intervals of time.
Till darkness surrounds
the sound so still.

"Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,
Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortals ever dared to dream before;" -Edgar All

hiddensmiles
Senior Member

since 2008-02-07

Posts 514
at the beach... i wish

1 posted 2008-03-14 05:59 PM

great write

Assassin_of_Verse
Member

since 2007-10-23

Posts 330
that So Cal

2 posted 2008-03-27 05:39 PM

"Echoes of silence reflect
Off the gray pavement.
A reflection of what
Life has become."

Loved it. But I think that your style would be better appreciated elsewhere (it's still good). Keep it up!

Dawn gives birth to a new day.
Dusk lays it to rest.

fromme2U
Member

since 2007-11-09

Posts 257

3 posted 2008-03-27 05:45 PM

I am sry but I disagree with assasin of verse
I think your work is well appreciated here but agree with the part assasin wrote keep it up...that was very well written good job!!

Assassin_of_Verse
Member

since 2007-10-23

Posts 330
that So Cal

4 posted 2008-03-30 03:13 AM

What I meant to say was that Elias is appreciated, but he could get a variety of critiques in other places in Pip, not just here in Teen Poetry.

Dawn gives birth to a new day.
Dusk lays it to rest.

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