Teen Poetry #8 |
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The Christian Rap |
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rebelangelv Senior Member
since 2007-05-28
Posts 538usa |
k ppls this is a rap obviously...lol the title...well does n e 1 have n e better ideas??? n e who it needs editing, G Stylz ( hahaha hes soooo dang goood man luv ya bro!!) is hopefully gunna help me with it...maybe..if i ask nicely lol so yea...critque but be nice ![]() i feel a change growing very deep inside im not sure what is happeing but i need to find out why this feeling is of freedom its conquering all my fears its making me feel loved and drying out my tears a feeling of safety during the night darkness no longer rules my eye are looking towards the light i think i know where this is coming from its because of jesus christ and since i gave my all to him hes been changing my whole life you may not understand it you might be blind to see but this man that i call savior has made me blood bought free this little baby boy was born he came to earth to die what kind of life is that u may ask so let me tell you why no sin can enter heaven for it is a perfect place but theres only one way to get in and its something one cant chase mankind is not perfect and never will be but God loves us so much that he just had to set us free he sent his only son to pay our price for sin so that we may have the choice to be with Him once again now we have the decision to follow Him our Lord or we can follow our imperfect flesh but what would we want to do that for? its a relationship it aint no religion its not any ritual its a heart's decision jesus was my friend from the begining of time he is part of who i am but i just pushed Him aside ever since i decided to get closer to my Lord this happiness spread through me and i will never take it for ganted. only a vampire can love you forever. |
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© Copyright 2008 leah nelson - All Rights Reserved | |||
rebelangelv Senior Member
since 2007-05-28
Posts 538usa |
O BTW THE 3RD STANZA....is just the fragments of my blonde thinking...so ....ne ideas?? i dont wanna just cut it but im stuck... only a vampire can love you forever. |
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Earl Robertson Senior Member
since 2008-01-21
Posts 753BC, Canada |
OK this is great. I listen to allot of this kind of stuff, both parody and serious, in music form and your lyrics look exelent. But not rap like. You need to take what you have, and put it into the lingo. You know, 'strict' rap flow. Try acctualy rapping this and every time you get somthing that doesn't sound right, change it! Most of it is just dropping the g in ing, and simple stuff like that and it's ALL flow stuff! Exelent start! Keep up the good work! (I'll be keeping tabs on this one!) "Be Strong and Always Remember what made you you." Earl |
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justanotherstorm Member
since 2007-10-24
Posts 321 |
thats a rap u kinda need to work on that |
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Falling rain![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2008-01-31
Posts 2178Small town, Illinois |
GREAT WORK!!!!! i like the topic you wrote about. i am a christian as-well (if you didnt notice that lol) the rap on the otherhand is a little off. try to keep the flow going. if you need help on the flow just say it out loud to yourself. try rapping it out to yourself. some of it i thought was a little choppy and messed up. but great work!!!! ~Zach~ |
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hiddensmiles Senior Member
since 2008-02-07
Posts 514at the beach... i wish |
good work...really enjoyed!! i like the topic as well |
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rebelangelv Senior Member
since 2007-05-28
Posts 538usa |
hey everyone, yea i know this wasnt real great but like i said its still a work in progress and ima get some help on it. ur advice is very useful so thank u to everyone. ![]() earl: yea i have it written like that on my computer but i wanted to attempt to be gramatically correct on here lol. but yea thanx a lot ill use wut u told me justanotherstorm: no duh hidden smiles: thanks ![]() zack, haha no i didnt know that but its great to hear it ![]() ummm yea everyone thank u all muah! only a vampire can love you forever. |
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Falling rain![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2008-01-31
Posts 2178Small town, Illinois |
sweet when it goes on youtube please tell me. i'd really appreteate to listen to it. I can't wait!!! ![]() ![]() ![]() ~Zach~ |
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rebelangelv Senior Member
since 2007-05-28
Posts 538usa |
o yea i will. ill post the link on here....if i ever get it up lol only a vampire can love you forever. |
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