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Teen Poetry #8

Oak in Spring

RedNail
Member

since 2008-02-29

Posts 65
Stockholm, Sweden

0 posted 2008-03-03 01:34 PM

Oak in Spring

Both of us
Under an oak on this very day

I have a question
Something etched to my mind
but I'm to scared to tell

I look at you and I can't help to
wonder if you lie awake at night,
starring at your ceiling,
just as I did yesterday

I turn my head as you start to speak
I don't really listen, you don't have
any feelings for me

But I guess that's ok
since I already knew, give me
a night sleep and I'll be over you

-------------------------------------------
I'm not really sure why but I think there's something wrong with this poem. If there's something you don't like, please tell me because I really want to improve this one.

Life is a rollercoster, live for the ride.

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis

since 2007-09-16

Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural

1 posted 2008-03-03 05:35 PM

Wonderful Name

ARCTIC WIND

pen&paper
Senior Member

since 2006-06-06

Posts 513

2 posted 2008-03-10 10:07 AM

I really loved this, I know the feeling, I just can't get over it...This is the only change I would make-

But I guess that's ok
since I already knew,
give me a night's sleep
And I'll be over you

hunnie_girl

Member Elite

since 2006-06-18

Posts 2567
Canada

3 posted 2008-03-13 01:50 AM

wow Sandra I loved this.. great poem such beautifull words!!!
Krysti

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