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Teen Poetry #8
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Forever is a Long time
| Teen Poetry #8 |
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Forever is a Long time |
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rebelangelv Senior Member
since 2007-05-28
Posts 538usa |
ok this one..well i dont think its finished but i figure it will be a while before i start fixing it up again so yea here it is ...enjoy  Forever is a long time A long time to keep Bitterness within your heart Just because of me You had a heart of stone That I once tore down But now its back up And its no where to be found Forever is a long time To bury all your pain Its also a lot of work And what do you gain? You know you have no right To hate me like you do You keep trying to find reasons That might be somewhat true You can hate me if it eases you From the pain you know you cause But all I've ever done is help care and love And shown you the way when youre lost Forever is a long time To lock yourself away Attempting to forget All your old ways Forever is a long time To stay in all this sin But once God comes and goes He wont come back again He will come at a time you do not know And if you stay how you are forever Rottening away in hell youll be Burning in the ember Forever is a long time To be sinning and hating But its all up to you now Do you worship God? or are you for Satan? only a vampire can love you forever. |
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| © Copyright 2008 leah nelson - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Tinsel Junior Member
since 2007-06-04
Posts 36UK |
I like it a lot! The ryhming is very natural. |
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RedNail Member
since 2008-02-29
Posts 65Stockholm, Sweden |
I can relate to this poem and I really liked this part: "Forever is a long time To bury all your pain Its also a lot of work And what do you gain?" But the end might need some polishing. I will definitely look at some of your other work. Keep it up. ^^ Some things are meant to be in the dark. |
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rebelangelv Senior Member
since 2007-05-28
Posts 538usa |
tinsel and rednail: thanks u guys! i know it needs some work, but ive just got tons of these floatins around!! so i gotta get them all under control before ima start editing. lol but thank again! only a vampire can love you forever. |
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maddison New Member
since 2008-01-27
Posts 3 |
i love this poem. and its great!! excellent work =]] |
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maddison New Member
since 2008-01-27
Posts 3 |
haha i 4got to add u as fav poet...stupid blonde..lol |
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hunnie_girl
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567Canada |
ohh Leah hunn... I havent read any thing frum yooh foar sooo long i missed yooh!!!! I really loved this poem... it wuz one uf my favs by yooh.. ahh hope tue read more soon!!!\ Love yooh Krysti |
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justanotherstorm Member
since 2007-10-24
Posts 321 |
Hate is a harsh word but kewl poem |
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Artic Wind Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080Realm of Supernatural |
Emotion Filled ARCTIC WIND |
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maddison New Member
since 2008-01-27
Posts 3 |
hahaha maddison ur funny lol thanks awwwww hunnie!!! ive missed u!!! i gotta email u soon! and thanks ur so sweet!!1 justanotherstorm, yes it is, but its a harsh world with harsh people who do harsh things and sometimes just need a harsh slap in the face with reality and truth. harsh... artic wind, yes it was emotion filled when i wrote it but it didnt come out as good as i had hoped. u know when ur realy upset or angery or sumthin it jsut comes out so beautifully and perfectly? well ..i dont think it happened on this one but w/e thanksn e ways |
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rebelangelv Senior Member
since 2007-05-28
Posts 538usa |
sry ppls, i didnt realize i was still logged into my friends account when she used my computer. the above comment is from me only a vampire can love you forever. |
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Earl Robertson Senior Member
since 2008-01-21
Posts 753BC, Canada |
Any poem that manages to bring tears to my eyes and warmth to my heart deserves to be framed, published and yelled from every rooftop! This was sooo beautiful! W-O-W "Be Strong and Always Remember what made you you." Earl |
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Jezzika Member
since 2005-01-05
Posts 154work |
OMG "You can hate me if it eases you From the pain you know you cause But all I've ever done is help care and love And shown you the way when youre lost" This poem was so good...it totally applies to how i am feeling right now I loved it One trillion dollars could buy a heart a soul ~ Anti-Flag |
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justanotherstorm Member
since 2007-10-24
Posts 321 |
haha yea sure |
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rebelangelv Senior Member
since 2007-05-28
Posts 538usa |
hahaha earl u make me happy glad u liked it jezzika (tight name) : haha thanks, and i hope it helps and w/e ur going thru gets better, cuz i know from x periance that this sux lol but once u just like let go and are just like w/e its better justanotherstorm: exactly....and hate is a harsh word like u said but ppl use it a lot. only a vampire can love you forever. |
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justanotherstorm Member
since 2007-10-24
Posts 321 |
k w/e |
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Falling rain
since 2008-01-31
Posts 2178Small town, Illinois |
nice poem. needs a little polishing though something about it doesnt seem right, i dont know. but good poem anyway |
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Clockwork_Orange Senior Member
since 2007-03-23
Posts 620Space Camp, IN |
very nice composition here! i liked this alot. its really well written and nothing is forced out. its beautiful. |
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rebelangelv Senior Member
since 2007-05-28
Posts 538usa |
justanotherstorm: sry, but im mad...or was at least falling rain: thanks! any suggestions??? clockworkoragne: thank u!!! only a vampire can love you forever. |
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justanotherstorm Member
since 2007-10-24
Posts 321 |
w/e idc |
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