Dont Do It (you dont have to comment, but please read)

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Teen Poetry #8

Dont Do It (you dont have to comment, but please read)

Tempest
Member

since 2006-04-28

Posts 247
dont eat paint chips!!!!

0 posted 2006-10-11 06:55 PM

sacraficed the life you once held dear
scared and lonely your drowning in your fear
lost in the world you created
the one that covers the scars that are fading
a deep river of regret
its not our time yet
so dont go on with this burden alone
theres always hope
cast in iron forged in stone
strong as faith, sharp as the dagger in me
are you ready to be free
dont do it
it will hurt me so much
every memory of every single touch
flooding back to my mind
of how your were once so kind

hunnie_girl

Member Elite

since 2006-06-18

Posts 2567
Canada

1 posted 2006-10-11 07:42 PM

awe i loved this i think i can relate good post

this kinda meant a lot to me cuz i know where you are coming from. thanx for sharing.
hunnie*

A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war and a time for peace ~Ecclesiastes 3:8~

Spine Grinder
Senior Member

since 2000-10-28

Posts 1127
Standing In Silence...

2 posted 2006-10-16 01:09 AM

I liked everything except the ending...it seemed kinda....like it ended to fast..Kind of a lazy ending..Idk. But otherwise good write.

"My soul is adrift in oceans of madness
Repairing the rift that you have created"~ Disturbed

"I shut my eyes and hold my cries to myself"~ Taproot

rhia_5779
Senior Member

since 2006-06-09

Posts 1334
California

3 posted 2006-10-16 01:42 PM

I agree about the ending.

pip_man
Member

since 2006-07-15

Posts 70
Canada

4 posted 2006-10-16 09:11 PM

I didnt mind the ending. I liked it, and I especially liked the first two line. Great write.

"When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace."
Jimi Hendrix

Renegade
Junior Member

since 2006-10-21

Posts 22

5 posted 2006-10-21 05:02 PM

your really good at poetry and i do think you ended it a bit fast but it is very good
:]

RevengeIsMine
Senior Member

since 2006-07-08

Posts 820
Australia

6 posted 2006-10-21 09:05 PM

Great Write... Flowed nicley

Well Done..

Jessica

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