a cute wittle quatrain/ insight on life!

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Teen Poetry #8

a cute wittle quatrain/ insight on life!

Jaki H
Member

since 2008-01-19

Posts 232
NJ, USA

0 posted 2008-02-18 10:55 AM

tick tock sounds the clock,
and life is one beat less
a roc, a roc when we fly in a flock,
but alone is a stalemate in chess
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tada!!! wadya think? be honest it took about 5 minutes to write so i dont think its that great but ill let you guys be the judge.

oh, fyi a roc is a mythological bird that symbolizes strength and power.

RenaissanceRomanceRunsRed
Senior Member

since 2007-06-11

Posts 1062
In Love <3

1 posted 2008-02-18 12:46 PM

you know it's simple but i do like it. i love the use of imagrey ( i'm a sucker for good imagery, it seems as good as chocolate to me) so wonderful job, i really like the word stalemate. lol i know i know i'm so retarted, lol, but hey- someone had to be a word lover- why not me?

-Kate

and in the daylight i miss the nightmare- but deathly fear it in the dark of night

Jaki H
Member

since 2008-01-19

Posts 232
NJ, USA

2 posted 2008-02-18 01:02 PM

haha oh i know... my friends get really annoyed when i correct them on things like vocab. i especially love shakespeare and recently corrected my friend steph on the use of "thy." it was amusing cause everyone just stopped and stared at me. =)

Falling rain

Member Elite

since 2008-01-31

Posts 2178
Small town, Illinois

3 posted 2008-02-18 03:10 PM

good job for a short poem. i once rewrote a nursery rhyme (its at poetry chanllenge called rock-a-bye-baby..) but yea this is really good. i like it but i dont know what a roc is.. i guess i'll have ot do my research about it lol.

~Zach~

"Nice guys finish last"

Jaki H
Member

since 2008-01-19

Posts 232
NJ, USA

4 posted 2008-02-18 04:03 PM

awww, but I said what it was in my lovely intro! oh well!

for all that don't know,

A ROC IS A MYTHELOGICAL (sp?) BIRD THAT WAS SAID TO BE REALLY STRONG AND POWERFUL.

hope that got peoples attention! =)

hunnie_girl

Member Elite

since 2006-06-18

Posts 2567
Canada

5 posted 2008-02-19 12:41 PM

tick tock sounds the clock,~

this line great way to start it!!!! It brought me into the poem and just got me in a guud and carefree mind, instead of dark... Very cute love the rhyming!!!
Krysti

Jaki H
Member

since 2008-01-19

Posts 232
NJ, USA

6 posted 2008-02-19 07:05 PM

haha thanks everyone!

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