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Teen Poetry #8

[realization]

electricxheart
Member

since 2004-09-05

Posts 184
far away from home.

0 posted 2006-09-05 08:50 PM

it all gets twisted around
in this town of make believe lovers
and long distance calls
and i’m [fall]ing down here
when i listen to you breathing on the
other end
of who we could become
but it’s just another curve in the bend
another thing to throw us off course
make me believe i am worth
more then this
more then this
but it’s nothing when it comes down to it
the sickening truth and nothing else
too little too late
but i just want to be with you now

hunnie_girl

Member Elite

since 2006-06-18

Posts 2567
Canada

1 posted 2006-09-06 06:37 PM

wow i don't know what else to say that was really good... i thought it had a really good flow too.... hope to read more...
hunnie*

A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your
heart.

stargal
Senior Member

since 2006-03-06

Posts 1352
OR USA

2 posted 2006-09-07 09:00 AM

It's almost like a song... I liked it; I'm not sure I understood the whole thing but what I thought I understood I liked.

"but it’s nothing when it comes down to it
the sickening truth and nothing else
too little too late"

This is my favorite part! I liked the "plain out" just saying what you've got to say without any frills! lol

Thanks for sharing, it was an enjoyable read

"I pray thee, O God, that I
may be beautiful within."
–Socrates
@-->---

*Alli4000*

Member Elite

since 2004-03-21

Posts 3188
The World of Poetry

3 posted 2006-09-10 11:37 PM

Wow, I really enjoyed this one by you! You're a great writer!

~Alli~

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